Every family and couple goes through some difficult processes before, during and after the divorce decision. This situation affects family members in different ways in the following months. Financial problems added to emotional turmoil are reflected in all family members. Therefore, it also changes the family's lifestyle. Since separation is a very new situation, individuals' minds are constantly preoccupied with this issue. Over time, it turns into being faced with the reality of starting a new life.
The first year of divorce is quite difficult for adults. Being divorced causes women and men to experience significant psychological problems. The meanings attached to the divorce process ("Thoughts such as "I have failed", "I cannot manage anything well in my life", etc.), references to the perception of the environment ("My neighbors will look at me differently", "I will fall out of favor when my family tells the relatives", etc.) are some "thoughts" from childhood. It will activate the schemas of “worthiness”, “lovability” and “adequacy”. Over time, this situation causes mental distress to deepen and the quality of daily life to decrease.
In cases of unexpected or compulsory divorce, it may force the adult to return to a developmental stage where he/she is stuck in the past or to adopt attitudes that are unexpected from his/her personality. Because some adults feel helpless, they may become dependent on the care of others, including their children. In some cases, roles in the family may change and children take care of their parents and listen to their problems. This situation causes the child to develop incorrectly and adopt a wrong understanding of reality due to his parents.
All these situations cause the person to isolate himself from his surroundings immediately after the divorce or, conversely, to live his social life excessively, unlike in previous times. . Some individuals do not accept the complex emotions created by divorce (the feelings of unhappiness and anger caused by divorce). However, it is quite complex and difficult to see that these feelings will change over time and that this process is an adaptation process. Being busy with various activities can be good for everyone, but it can be difficult to avoid situations where we are stuck in our past lives, mood disorders, and the "healthiest" way to view the divorce process for our children. It will make the process easier for us to learn how to transfer the situation and how we can continue our daily work "where we left off" after the divorce process, with the help of an expert. If avoiding all these is done to escape other problems, this will only postpone depression for a while. However, in the end, collapse becomes inevitable as the problems remain unresolved.
Many individuals try to get through the divorce process alone. He believes that he will be able to manage this process over time. However, each trauma experienced in the past (it does not have to be major) affects the next relationship you will establish or your dialogue with the people you communicate with around you. Feelings such as not being able to accept this process, feelings of regret, intense anxiety about the future, not knowing what to do, and not being able to take any steps are experienced. It is difficult for the person to get away from these feelings. With psychological support, this process can be overcome in a shorter time and with less harm. Making plans for the future, expecting new things from life and relationships, and making efforts for these are signs that the person is now healthy. However, in order to move forward in a healthy way, working on "changing the vicious relationship cycle", "addressing attachment styles", "healing the wounds of emotional and physical traumas" and similar patterns experienced in the past makes the individual stronger. It causes him to establish healthier relationships in his life and has a positive reflection on his entire life area (work, family, friends, etc.).
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