If we want to change something, we must be aware of what that thing is, so we first start the intervention program with the analysis of the child's problematic behavior. In this analysis, where and with whom the child's problematic behavior occurs, what happened just before the problematic behavior, what are the other factors related to the problematic behavior (medication time, dose), what is the purpose of the behavior, what did the teacher do in the face of the problematic behavior, the continuity of the behavior. What is it, what methods have been tried before for problematic behavior, what reinforcers can be used to prevent the behavior from occurring, and when we can answer these questions, it means that we have provided the analysis of that behavior.
The team that performs all these behavior analyzes consists of the school counselor, the classroom teacher and the school administration, with the knowledge of the school administration. It consists of parents. His duty is to follow the students, inform the family in a healthy way and refer them to a specialist when necessary. Abuse is among the problems encountered inside or outside the school, and parents, teachers and children are informed about this issue periodically.
How can I protect my child from abuse?
How can parents answer children's questions about sexuality in the preschool period? They may not know what to answer. As the sense of curiosity increases around the age of three, the child's questions also increase. While some parents ignore these questions, others may give answers that confuse the child. Parents say, "I don't know the answer to this question either, but if you want, we can investigate it together." He cannot say this because he calls this discourse coercive and a sign of weakness, but sometimes there may be things that parents cannot know. Instead of confusing the child by giving wrong information, it would be healthier to say "I don't know the answer to this, let's find it together."
What we need to teach them as parents while answering these questions is;
introducing one's body,
introducing boundaries,
teaching to distinguish between good and bad touch.
The questions the child asks begin with the child getting to know his body. He is not interested in genitals until he is one year old, but during the toilet training period He is now aware of his genitals. Might give him nicknames. Since parents are also embarrassed to talk about sexuality, name-calling can make things easier for parents. However, the child also needs to learn real names. It should be taught as penis and vagina. Not knowing the right word can be embarrassing, and nicknames can be confusing and have different meanings from person to person. Since the child does not perceive abstract things in the preschool period, he will want to hear concrete things and satisfy his curiosity. When asked how I was born, you can say, "When parents love each other very much, they have a baby." It is wrong to confuse a preschool child by giving him more detailed information. Terms he doesn't know, such as making love, kissing, uterus, etc., will cause him to ask more questions.
How can I make explanations without confusing him?
The answer to this question depends on who, where and when will make the explanation. It is relevant. A question or behavior from a child can be the starting point for giving a speech. It would be healthy for an adult or adults that the child trusts to have this conversation. Even during a visit, a child can ask you any question he/she has in mind. “What does making love mean?” Because he is not aware of the content of his question. The parents blush. You can explain that you can talk at home with your usual tone of voice and facial expressions, without embarrassment or shame.
Talking about sexual education to children is not enough. Pre-school children who learn by modeling will want to see the consistency in words in their behavior. Make sure you maintain eye contact and keep your tone of voice normal (neither embarrassed nor harsh) 'I understand that you are very curious about some things, some of the people are girls and some are boys. We can distinguish girls and boys by some things. Girls mostly wear skirts and boys wear trousers. Boys have the penis facing forward, girls have the vagina facing inward. And it makes us pee.” This much explanation is enough if the child does not ask questions.
So how do we protect our children against repeated child losses and harassment?
Research shows that children are most abused between the ages of 4-11. Make this awareness The most successful age group in which to apply is between the ages of 4-7. To protect children from abuse, talking is not enough; it is necessary to teach this through behavior. Advising people to stay away from dangerous people can also damage their social development and sense of trust. If there is a child who is introverted or socially phobic, making these statements may increase his/her anxiety, prevent him from communicating, and may cause him to perceive his surroundings as danger. For this reason, considering that each child's development and temperament are different, it is recommended that you make an explanation if your child exhibits questions and behaviors that you need to explain.
What kind of awareness should be given to children?
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To gain the awareness that 'my body is special to me'
A child who cannot gain the feeling that his own body belongs to him and who thinks that others can do something about his body can easily fall into the trap of harassment. This awareness should be given to the child starting from the age of 4. For example, a sweaty child's undershirt should not be removed suddenly without permission. Over time, the child feels the interventions made on his body without his permission and becomes uncomfortable. -
To gain the awareness of 'You can touch it if I allow'
While the child learns the control over his own body, this is what he has mastered. He/she should know that he/she has the right to say over the body. When parents kiss their children after the age of 4-5, they sometimes ask, 'Can I kiss you?' Asking for permission is effective in creating this awareness. -
Raising the awareness of 'my parts that are forbidden to be touched'
Children should start to feel uncomfortable when certain parts of their bodies are touched, starting from the age of 4. The child should not be loved by spouses, friends and relatives by touching their genitals, kissing or hitting them. -
To gain the 'resisting physical pressure' reflex. They didn't think about it and try to escape. During displays of love towards children, one should avoid disproportionate displays of power that would make them feel their own weakness.
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To give the feeling of 'my body should not be seen'
The child should not be left naked. Himself to others� If he is not used to seeing himself naked around him, he will feel seriously uncomfortable when his clothes are taken off by someone. -
To raise awareness of 'not being naked in the bathroom'
After the age of 4, parents are naked in the same bathroom with the child. should not be present. After the age of 7, the child's genital areas should not be allowed to be seen by anyone else. -
To raise awareness that there should be no one other than me in the toilet. It should be taught that it is not right to be seen by others.
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To teach the principle of 'loneliness in undressing and dressing'
In order for the child to gain the reflex to be uncomfortable with looks directed at his body, he should learn not to walk around naked in public from the age of 4. It is necessary.
Instilling the principle of 'If I give permission, you will be accepted'
Even the parents must get permission when entering the child's room after the age of 7. Ask for help when dressing and undressing
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