Conflict in relationships is highly anticipated and when it is in a healthy amount and form, it improves the relationship. Couples and people may conflict for many reasons, such as differences in wishes, differences in personality, differences in standards and expectations, miscommunication and differences in communication. In relationships, couples may have the same ideas and values, as well as different ideas and values. The ability to find rational and constructive conflict and resolution is one of the elements that sustain and enrich the relationship. It helps to communicate better, develop a clear understanding of what the other party wants and feelings, and continue the relationship in a pleasurable way.
Conflicting goals, reasons, needs, and ways of expressing them can be stressful in any relationship. . As in every relationship, if conflict is avoided and there is no solution that both parties are satisfied with, it can damage the bond that creates the relationship.
Conflict does not always cause harm. Challenge and disagreement in a relationship sometimes paves the way for developing a deeper understanding, better communication and moving towards a goal. Although various disagreements and differences of opinion are expected situations, unhealthy management of them can cause loss of trust in the relationship, damage to intimacy, and behaviors that will stress the relationship. It is necessary to be careful that conflict and resolution strategies do not result in hurt and resentment.
There are some situations that prevent the ability to find a solution. The first case solution is one party approves and the other disapproves. This outcome is desirable for one party but undesirable for the other, resulting in hurt, withdrawal, resentment, and anger. In this case, the feelings are likely to lead to further conflicts in the future.
The other situation is that the result is undesirable for both parties. In this case, it results in the parties being stubborn, competing with the other for not being able to get what they want, and developing stubbornness and putting nothing in. These behaviors damage the bond in the relationship. If it continues, it could poison the relationship. None of the couples feel defeated and unharmed. Conflict and finding a solution results in an increased sense of trust and a reinforced bond. br /> Attempts to resolve conflict in a relationship are unwittingly under the influence of some elements and are negatively affected. It is necessary to pay attention to these.
First of all, it is necessary to relax the emotions and physiology before the moment of finding a solution. Feelings of anger, withdrawal, and hurt at the time of conflict resolution pave the way for blaming, using inappropriate names, trying to prevail, using the language of "You-I" instead of "We", that is, activating the defense mechanisms of the other party. Buddha blocks the effort of active listening. Secondly, he should take a stance that wants both sides to win, rather than expecting to be the winner and dominate in both pairs. This means working and sacrificing for a common solution for the gain of both sides. It is necessary to be open to change in order not to block the way of motivation.
Secondly, it is necessary to develop active listening. Although both parties know what the solution is for them, understanding what the other side wants requires understanding their feelings. This can be a sense of trust, a sense of commitment, a sense of rejection, and a sense of introversion. For this, it is necessary to listen without filtering, without judgment, without negative expectations. A solution that wins both sides requires understanding first.
Finally, mutual brainstorming prevents emotional poisoning and creates a climate for solution generation that pleases both parties. Exchanging ideas about hopes, goals, needs, concerns about the situation opens the way for possible solutions and creates a feeling of effort.
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