Conflict is inevitable in every close relationship.
Some couples openly and directly reveal their conflicts, while others try to deny or suppress it or show it implicitly.
However, according to some couples, their marriage Having conflict and having arguments is not a healthy thing. We often encounter this situation in newly married couples.
However, arguments play a major role in enabling couples to discover each other and develop their relationships if they know how to deal with the argument. and find it again with different reflections. Because who we are is who we are when we are with others.
Therefore, the issue that should be focused on in couples is not the existence of conflicts, but how conflicts are managed. In cases where feelings of resentment and hurt are experienced intensely, and the relationship is severely damaged, it is very valuable that communication is strong and effective, and that both individuals take responsibility for the factors that cause resentment. Because, as the resentments in issues such as denying and trying to suppress the conflict are ignored or unless they are approached with an accusatory and critical language and do not take responsibility in the conflict, the couples may begin to be unable to cope with their emotional injuries alone and create walls between them.
increases as it is not repaired. Couples who distance themselves emotionally and sexually can become two strangers living in the same house.
Unmet expectations, wishes and needs arise because they do not express their wishes, expectations, feelings and needs. indirectly reflected to the partner.
In non-direct communications, unrealistic and unrealistic beliefs about one another may develop, and behaviors and attitudes that are not appropriate for the situation may be displayed.
With a simple apology on issues where feelings of resentment and hurt take place heavily in the relationship, all your resentment can disappear. It is wrong to have such a perception.
When individuals make a mistake, they feel the need to reveal why and how the person who made this mistake did it, how it made the other party feel, what kind of results it caused in their relationships, and the importance of not repeating it. However, in that way, the apology will have a counterpart in the offended partner. In relationships, we often come across this situation in complaints such as "I'm sorry, what more do I need to do, what does he want from me, he doesn't close it there, he brings up the same issue over and over".
It is not only wrong to bring up an issue/problem over and over again and to take place in inconsiderate discussions, but it is also wrong to think that the discussion should be ended and the problem should be solved by using only the expression of apology.
The healthy relationship style; After the discussion, the necessary feedback is given to the partner together with the apology, the implementation of effective problem-solving methods, and the realization of the discussion by ensuring the integrity of the subject without getting away from the main problem in case of a problem.
In order for the conflicts not to become useless-harmful, couples should primarily make their communication styles a healthy structure.
If this is; conveying feelings and thoughts in such a way that they can be explained and understood; the partner conveys these feelings and thoughts.
In this way, both individuals will both express themselves and feel understood and will be satisfied. The need to be understood and reciprocated in conflicts and communication is a very basic emotional need, and couples need to meet this need in the most appropriate way for the continuation of their relationship.
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