Example from life:
65-year-old father tells: I am a cancer patient, my days are numbered, my two daughters are with me, I have not seen my son from my first wife, who is 38 years old today, for 35 years. I want to call and ask, I can't forget it, but I'm afraid I'll hurt him again; I came to ask you.
My first wife was the girl next door in the neighborhood. My 5 younger sisters and my mother badmouthed the bride who came home to me every evening. I was young, a novice, and I divorced when my son was 1 year old. I got married again soon after.
I took my son home at regular intervals and put him to sleep, and I missed him when he was away. I first warned and then intimidated my second wife, who had a bit of a harsh temperament, to no avail. When I came home, I found my son like a silent cat. Once I found a pinch mark on his body, and one day I found dark circles under both eyes. My 3-year-old son was silent. How would I give him to his divorced mother? I took care of my son myself by taking him to work for a week. I had twin daughters from the second one. I wanted to slam her into the ground, but I came to my senses when I saw my daughters breastfeeding.
My son does not want to go from the cold workplace to our warm house. When he saw my second wife, he was shaking like a leaf with fear. It took two weeks for the bruises under my eyes to turn yellow-green. Neighbors saw that my son hit the wall and was unconscious for a while. I lost control, I beat my wife's hair, she begged, she swore, she gave up, I made my son apologize, I was offered a job somewhere else, I left the child at home. My work was finished early, I quietly entered the garden of the house, my son was walking on the railing-free terrace above the house, and my wife was downstairs with her arms outstretched and shouting "jump in, son", I stopped the child. I took him and left him to his mother, never to see her again. Throughout my life, my son's big frightened eyes have never left me alone on my pillow.
What we learned from my son:
The gendarmerie who came to my grandmother's door when he was 5 years old and scared her with his gun has never been erased in my mind. My mother says that from that day on, I wet the bed from time to time until I was 12 years old. Today I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety disorder. I pray because I had a brain trauma. I don't remember being bumped into. I will never forget when I was 3 years old and had the fear that my mother, who did not only take me with her to the wedding, had completely abandoned me. I forgave my father because I learned about his childhood.
My father, who was born after 5 daughters while his uncles, who were the same age as my father and who acted as a father to me, were fishing in the river or lake, and who was brought up without leaving him on the streets and whose personality was poorly developed, was unable to protect neither my mother, nor me, nor himself throughout his life. What I heard was that after his mother and siblings ruled my life, his stepmother oppressed him for a lifetime and he grew up. I know this man, but he is not my father!!!
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