The more you learn and the more you think that what you have learned is right, that is exactly where you will make the biggest mistake. One day, you may realize that even if some of your truths are truly "true", you have left an indirect mark on the other person, such as deep scars, distrust, and not being understood, and you may be upset. Now, let's look at what "Empathy" and "Sympathy" we use in relationships in this context.
Empathy is the ability of a person to accurately understand what is said to put himself in the other's shoes at an emotional level, and to adopt an understanding attitude towards the person by sensing the state of enthusiasm, desire, feeling and desire that the person is in. Sympathy is; It means experiencing that emotion, feeling, deeply with the other person, as if he were experiencing it himself, and creating empathy with the other person, and this may seem like healing to the other person. There are parents, children, spouses and friends who understand him. Water is sprinkled on your heart. So how is empathy different from sympathy?
In empathy, we understand what the other person is going through without needing to confirm the situation; just listening may be enough. In sympathy; Regardless of the situation or event, the person narrating it is perceived as justified, approved and correct, and comments are made on the situation and how he/she feels. person; Understanding does not always mean approval, just listening can also be good.
The "empathic" approach in psychotherapy has very beneficial results for clients. In private relationships, sometimes it can be more beneficial to listen with sympathy. You cannot listen to the person with sympathy during the counseling process. Because then you cannot contribute to the therapy process. Sometimes the parenting approaches that you know to be true, the approaches of spouses to each other, hurt the person on the other side, but you are never aware of it. Sometimes the other party needs you to listen to your spouse, child, or friend with sympathy. For once, they may want to be understood and to sympathize with their feelings.
Of course, this may not always be appropriate. There comes a time when a person says; It is also nice to say I understand your pain and cry with it. There is no point in giving life lessons when you are in that emotional state. Because you continue with what you know to be true. For once, leave all your truths aside and just look at the other person's words, emphasis, feelings, their world, their eyes.
You will see that there is a little heart there waiting to be understood. I wonder what he means exactly? Not by judging him and teaching him something, not by saying this is me, my environment, my conditions, just listen to him, let him explain, maybe there are clues in his words that both of you need to change, healing starts right there, understanding and listening wholeheartedly. . If you change, YOUR WORLD changes.
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