Although human beings exist as individuals, they need to live in society. From the moment he is born, he needs the care, attention and love of the person who takes care of him. The state of needing someone else manifests itself in different conditions throughout life. The need for friendship is one of them.
How does the concept of friendship enter our lives?
Family is more prevalent during infancy. Friendship relationships acquired in the social environment or in social environments are transferred to the school environment with the beginning of pre-school education. With the age of 2, the child's interest and curiosity in the external environment increases and he/she begins to talk, which strengthens his/her communication with his/her peers, especially with his/her parents. The social skills of the child, who begins to spend time with his/her peers under the guidance of the teacher in the school environment, improve and he/she begins to exhibit the skills he/she has learned in the school environment. While in primary school, children enjoy making friends and playing games with their peers, they want to be included in groups of friends during adolescence. And during this period, we frequently hear statements like 'He doesn't want to spend time with us, he doesn't want to spend time with us, he doesn't have any friends...' from parents of adolescent children, which I think will sound familiar to you parents.
Question to Parents: Adolescent Why is friendship important for your child? Do you know why he always wants to spend time with his friends?
Your teenager wants to spend more time with his friends because he needs to prove his existence as an individual, to be able to organize his social relationships outside of his parents' guidance, and to be accepted by his peers. In other words, the adolescent looks for the answer to the question 'Who am I?' in the friendship relationships he establishes. It is very important for the adolescent that his friends think well of him, because friendship relations are very important. For this reason, he may oppose the rules and limits set by his parents in order to be included in his friend group. The fact that adolescents' speech styles, interests, clothing styles and activities are almost the same is due to their efforts to adapt to the group.
Adolescence is a painful period for both adolescents and parents. What the adolescent feels Emotions and behaviors show ups and downs and fluctuations. While the adolescent tends to oppose his parents' rules and authority, he thinks that the people who understand him best are his friends. Friendship is very valuable. Although the place, attention and love of the family is very valuable and important, the place of friendships is irreplaceable in the eyes of the adolescent in this period.
What Should Parents Do?
Parents should first of all remember that the way to get through the stormy adolescence period more calmly is to establish a healthy communication with your child before adolescence. Embrace your child with love, listen and spend quality time with your child.
Try to get to know your adolescent child's friends in an appropriate way, without being disturbing and not in a questioning, controlling attitude. Avoid asking too many questions.
Make your child feel that you respect his or her clothing style, interests and preferences. Remember your own youth, your style, and remember that the interests of this period are temporary. Friendship is important for everyone.
Explain family rules and boundaries clearly to your child. Do not forget to create a certain freedom area for him. If he knows what he can do with you and what he can do on his own, you will have fewer conflicts on this issue.
Do not try to be your child's friend. Although your child attaches importance to friendship during this period, remember that he may have many friends but only one mother and one father. Role confusion should not be allowed, and the parent-child relationship should not turn into a friend relationship.
Direct your child to activities where he can release his energy and unload his emotional burden. Sports, music and art are food for the soul, please remember.
Apart from all these suggestions, REMEMBER that being a parent is perhaps the most valuable thing and that the sun will shine after the storm and rain...
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