Why do some of us have positive traits and positive thoughts, while some of us have negative thoughts and negative behaviors? Why do some of us always see the glass half full, while others see it half empty? Why do some of us focus on our gains and abilities and be happy, while some of us focus on our shortcomings and losses and live around this axis?
The foundation of this structure is laid between the ages of 0-3. It matures between the ages of 3-6. If a person's negative personality traits are formed by traumatic experiences he was exposed to after the age of 6, they change in his life as easily as the dirt on an egg is washed away (egg metaphor was used for easier understanding).
3-6 Traumatic experiences between ages and pathological structures in identity can be changed with difficulty, such as reaching the inner membrane of the egg and intervening, which can be achieved through long-term psychotherapy studies.
Traumatic experiences experienced between the ages of 0-3 are disorders in the yolk of the egg. These are pathologies that are much more difficult to change with external intervention. Personality disorders, which can only be partially changed with many years of psychotherapy, are formed by traumatic experiences in this age range. These are grouped into three main groups: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizoid Personality Disorder.
For this reason; The type of care and the characteristics of the caregiver are very important in child care, especially in the first 3 years of age and then between the ages of 3-6.
Our personality develops around two main axes: "Libidinal structure" and "Aggressive structure". . The experiences we accumulate between the ages of 0-6 in the libidinal pole and aggressive pole of ourselves determine the dominant characteristics of our identity and direct the behaviors in our lives.
Libidinal =Positive =Positive=Good Aggressive=Negative =Negative=Bad
>In our social relationships, we call this a positive or negative personality, or an optimistic or pessimistic structure. Metaphysics calls this "duality", when negative and positive features exist in a person's mind at the same time. The science of psychology is also He calls the existence of this pole the "libidinal" and "aggressive unit" of human identity. While it is called "Lust and Wrath" in Islamic philosophy, it is defined as "Eros, Thanatos" in Greek philosophy, and "Yin, Yan" in Far Eastern philosophy.
Separate identity, which is mandatory in the creation of a healthy structure. It is to transform these two poles, which stand apart and are separated from each other by the "partition" used as a defense mechanism, into a single whole. This is the purpose of psychotherapies.
In the 0-3 age range, "splitting" is used by every human child as the main defense mechanism. It is normal to live under the influence of the partition until the age of 3. In a child growing up in a healthy family environment, after the age of 3, the division disappears and the positive and negative poles are integrated. This is necessary for the formation of a healthy identity.
A person who has not completed his integration and still uses division as an active defense mechanism continues his life by acting under the influence of one positive and one negative emotions, due to these two polarities existing in his identity. "Splitting" is still used as an active defense mechanism in Narcissistic, Borderline and Schizoid personality disorders.
However, by being aware and accepting of all our positive and negative characteristics, we can live a calmer and healthier life with less ups and downs. We need to be in life.
Psychological science calls this the disappearance of "division". Metaphysics calls this the point where "duality" ends.
For a healthy soul, for a healthy body, for healthy relationships (lover, spouse, sibling, friend, child, etc.), division must disappear. We need to live by being aware of our positive and negative personality traits, knowing and accepting that both of them are part of our identity, and beyond that, feeling ourselves as a whole.
We need to see and accept ourselves as a whole, with our good and bad aspects. Let us see and accept and love the other person as a whole. Then we can only say, "... has these bad features, but it also has very good features", but there is no division. When it doesn't get better, then we say, "... He did this to me, he is a bad person, I hate him, I don't want to see his face again, it's over for me. Our ancestors' saying "burning a quilt for fleas" explains exactly this.
A person who is under the influence of division has no grey. Life is either black or white, you either love it or hate it. An hour ago he would say, "I love you so much, I'm glad you are in my life," and an hour later, when he gets angry, he says, "God damn scum, how did you come into my life?" Even songs were written with the effect of division, describing two opposite extremes such as "Once I like it, I love it completely, once I delete it, I erase it with a pen", "You are either mine or the black earth".
In order to eliminate the division, We need to know why it exists first. Why is there a partition? What does division mean? What does the existence of partition protect us against? and How does the division disappear?
It should be known that psychological structures that were not integrated at the age of 3 can be changed only through knowledge and internalization of what has been learned.
The information that most of us need can be obtained from larger groups. We organize regular workshops under the roof of our institution in order to share it with and raise awareness.
With individual therapies that start with ATTACK THERAPY and include regular and long-term studies, we ensure that the spiritual structure is examined in depth. In this way, awareness is raised and change begins for a more peaceful and healthy life.
I wish that we can all be in search of more knowledge, with love and hope. With love …
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