It was written after the Van Earthquake.
Events such as losing a relative, experiencing an earthquake, being harassed, or having a traffic accident are traumatic events. Both we and our children are affected by such traumatic events and may experience post-traumatic stress disorder. We experience this by reacting differently. We may react with avoidance as if the incident did not happen. At the slightest sign, we relive the traumatic event over and over again. An example of this would be for a person who experienced an earthquake to feel "as if they were shaking all the time." We may react with extreme anxiety, depression and sadness. Many children in Van and Erciş are giving these reactions right now. When a little girl smiled and said, "All our teachers are dead, we want a school," it was obvious that the child was trying to stand upright but was experiencing a deep trauma.
Preschool Period How might our child react?
Bedwetting, thumb sucking, sudden excitement, clinging to parents, tics, sleep problems.
Avoidance behavior and withdrawal.
A general state of anxiety. ; Fear of animals, the dark, strangers.
Repetitive games and rituals (obsessively repeating a certain behavior)
Confusing what they imagine (for example, their own aggressive fantasies) with what is real. Children in this age group may think that bad events are caused by their own bad thoughts and become upset. This type of delusional thinking can lead to mental confusion, shame, anxiety, and misinterpretations of the world. For example, he may think that a negative event or illness that happened to his mother is his fault.
What Can Be Done for Our Pre-School Child?
Trying to comfort and reassure. work. Love and caress your child often and make him feel that you are with him.
Before he goes to sleep, go to him, caress his head, give him a warm milk if you have one and sing a lullaby while holding his hand.
Let him sleep with you for a while if necessary.
Give them the opportunity to express their feelings by playing with play dough, drawing and painting. Observe their games. If the anxiety level has increased, it is definitely reflected. If necessary, seek professional help.
Things Not to Do for Correct Communication
Do not interrupt what is being said.
Do not judge or criticize.
Do not talk too much.
Do not laugh at what is said and do not embarrass your child.
Do not behave aggressively.
Do not try to hide your emotions. You can show your emotions in a way that is not too exaggerated and share how you feel without scaring your child by using I language. For example; “At the time of the earthquake, I felt helpless. At first I didn't know what to do. However …." You can talk like this.
Do not contradict or argue.
When your child is very impressed or starts crying, do not get anxious, try to stay calm and touch your child.
No matter what, do not get defensive, just listen.
While listening, do not get upset. Don't get busy with things. Make eye contact.
Do not force your child to make decisions or make comments.
Do not comment about your child in any way.
Pay attention to what you say on the phone or among yourselves. He listens to you even while you are playing.
What to Do for Correct Communication
Speak in a soft voice and without rushing.
Place and place. joke and smile when the time is appropriate.
Make eye contact.
Talk to the child face to face, crouching down or sitting next to him/her if necessary to be closer to him/her.
Ask open-ended questions (answer yes or no). questions that will not be in the form of no). "Are you scared? instead of “How do you feel?” So your child can say more.
Use simple and understandable language.
Give feedback. Listen carefully and show with your actions that you are listening.
Be empathetic, patient and accepting. To do this, try to put yourself in your child's shoes and understand what he/she is thinking and feeling.
Pay attention to interaction, touch your child when appropriate, put your hand on his shoulder, hug him.
Make realistic and specific suggestions.
The stronger the bond of love between our family members, the less extraordinary situations will shake us and the less trauma we will experience. The precautions you take in every matter will make you stronger. To all of you in this difficult time and every emergency. I wish you luck during your time. I wish you a spirit of love and solidarity in your home. Let's not be victims of our negligence that we will regret later...
As a result; Understanding our child's feelings with compassion and by conveying our love will greatly relieve him/her. If remarkable behavioral changes, nutrition and sleep problems occur after a major trauma, expert support should be sought.
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