According to the 50 by 50 rule, which is widely accepted among marriage and sex therapists and supported by research, approximately fifty percent of marital problems arise from sexual issues, and approximately fifty percent of sexual problems arise from general problems experienced in marriage. Sometimes, a sexual problem that started before marriage continues due to negative factors in the marriage (for example, the pre-existing premature ejaculation or vaginismus does not improve in a problematic marriage).
Sexual reluctance is a problem in marriage for both men and women. It is the disorder that interacts with the problems the most. Orgasm problems and erectile dysfunction due to painful intercourse or fear of failure are other sexual dysfunctions that are common in marriage.
Old reproaches and resentments, repressed anger, power struggle, loss of trust, not being taken seriously (you only want me in bed thought), punishment, overprotection, addiction (mother-child relationship), postpartum problems, dislike of birth control methods, lack of attention to physical care, mother-son, father-daughter style communication and similar reasons are marriage factors that frequently interact with sexuality.
To give an example of the 50 by 50 interaction above; Especially if there is a dominant spouse in every aspect of the marriage, sabotaging sexuality (consciously or unconsciously) may be the only victory for the other spouse. Sometimes, a single sentence you say to your partner without realizing it causes your partner to lose confidence and avoid sexuality due to fear of failure.
Another reason for sexual reluctance in marriage can be exemplified as the sameness, monotony, and overconfidence inherent in marriage. While sameness, doing everything monotonously reduces sexual desire, uncertainty, excitement and fantasies can stimulate sexuality. It is important to remember Esther Perel's following sentence from time to time; “There is no democracy in bed”.
Solving all kinds of sexual problems in marriage is easy if there is cooperation with the spouse. If there is no cooperation, a few sessions of couple therapy would be appropriate first. In a good relationship, the solution to vaginismus, sexual reluctance, psychological erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and orgasm problems is much easier than you think. Communication training, breed Hand training and sexual therapy techniques are treated with very similar standards in all the best clinics in the world. For this reason, I recommend that you get support from a good marriage and sexual therapy specialist before the problems deepen and before the respect and love end.
Stay healthy and happy
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