Every family is different from other families in some ways, and each family operates differently. Many families rush towards the goal of raising healthy children without receiving any education about what should be done for a healthy family functioning. Lewis et al. What they say about families that are adequate in every respect helps us about the functioning of these families.
In these families, there are boundaries set and leadership shared by the parents. In some areas of family life, the mother is the leader, in others the father is the leader. The roles of mother and father are consistent and clear. Everyone has accepted these roles.
There is authority, but there is no authoritarian behavior. Power is shared between the mother and father, and children know that the mother and father are in control.
Even though there is closeness to each other in this type of family, individuality is important and allowed.
Each family member is allowed to express their ideas and opinions, but openness is expected. In these families, where each member bears responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings, all emotions are expressed and reciprocated.
Everyone speaks only on their own behalf and does not exceed their limits by speaking on behalf of others.
Family members respect each other.
A healthy environment is created in these families where parents have values and characteristics beyond being parents. Effective families in every aspect aim to develop not only the children but also the parents.
In addition, it is necessary to set limits in the first years of the child's life. Rules set for children should be simple and accessible, but more importantly, they should be communicated to the child in a clear, concise and consistent manner.
However, there are some rules for setting rules:
It is not the number of rules, but their content that is important. Parents setting reasonable, logical rules and applying these rules in a consistent and affectionate manner develops respect for authority, which is an important feature in the child.
Rules must have value. Parents should not make rules that they do not believe in. If parents cannot defend the rules they set, they lose their value.
Rules must have a purpose. The purpose of the rules should be to help the child develop behaviors that will enable him to adapt to his environment and society.
Rules should be clearly stated.
The number of rules should be limited.
Children will test the rules.
Parents must be true to their word.
The punishment should be appropriate to the crime.
Rules should be changed when necessary. What parents need to realize is that the rules will change as the child matures.
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