DIFFERENT PARENTAL ATTITUDES AND THE EFFECT OF ATTITUDES ON CHILDREN

It is an environment where there is strict discipline and pressure, the rules are never bent, punishment is at the forefront, and the child's right to say and decide is minimized. It is observed that children growing up in such an environment have weak communication skills and social abilities. In such unhealthy family conditions, the child grows up with strict rules that determine how he should think and behave. In these families, where discipline takes precedence over communication, love, acceptance and understanding are not provided sufficiently. The child, who is exposed to criticism and exaggerated punishment from the parents even for a minor misbehavior, experiences intense fear of the parents. This situation prevents the child from learning the correct behavior pattern.

• The following problems are frequently experienced in children who grow up with a repressive attitude;
• Difficulty in expressing their thoughts
• Lack of confidence. ,
• Low self-esteem and shyness
• Easily being influenced by others, being dependent on other people

Indifferent Attitude

It is the attitude in which the child's social and emotional needs are ignored and he/she does not receive enough love and attention. The child is deprived of discipline, which is one of his basic needs. An indifferent and indifferent family fuels aggression and may cause the child to harm the people and things around him.

• The following problems can be observed in children growing up with an indifferent attitude;
• Since the rules of authority and discipline are not taught, Problems adapting to environments
• Communication problems due to not being adequately supported emotionally
• Easily connecting to others, acquiring harmful habits
• Invaluable feeling of anxiety, lack of self-confidence
• Feeling emotionally alone, not being able to establish healthy relationships.
• Academic failure due to not getting enough support from the family.

Overly Tolerant Attitude

This is the behavior and emotion model most frequently displayed by today's confused parents. Parents with this approach surrender to their children's wishes, fulfill their insistent requests, pamper them, allow them too much freedom, and discipline rules are not taught. In fact, these parents, whose concern is to care too much about their children, have difficulty saying 'no' to their children and maintaining control over them. As a result, these children cannot learn to control their own behavior.

The following characteristics can be observed in children in these families where discipline is very low and tolerance is exaggerated;

• Difficulty in complying with social rules
• Not being accepted in friendships because they always want their wishes to be fulfilled
• Being self-centered and displaying disrespectful behavior towards others
• Having difficulty controlling their behavior, acting impulsively
• Having difficulty adapting to kindergarten and primary school, not wanting to go to school
• Fulfilling all demands by crying, trying to control parents

Overprotective Attitude

Parental overprotection means giving the child too much control and attention. Not allowing the child to grow up is the main feature of this attitude. Common examples are for a child who meets his/her own needs at school to be fed by the mother at home and to share the same bed with the parents. There is a delay in the social development of the child who is protected socially, emotionally and behaviorally. This situation negatively affects the child's relationships with friends.

• The following characteristics can be observed in children growing up in these families where growth is not allowed.
• The child who does not separate from the mother develops an overly dependent personality structure.
• Children whose needs are met by their parents do not develop a sense of responsibility and have difficulty making their own decisions.
• The child, who is the center of attention in the family, also receives the same attention from his peers. This expectation causes problems in friendships.
• Overprotection causes lack of self-confidence.

Indecisive and Inconsistent Attitude

The indecisive attitude of the parents makes the child doubt what is right and what is wrong behavior. Instability can be seen in two ways. Parents sometimes evaluating a behavior as normal and sometimes punishing it, or a behavior being evaluated differently by the mother and differently by the father are examples of ambivalent attitudes.

• The following characteristics can be observed in children of families with ambivalent attitudes.
• An inconsistent personality structure
• Having difficulty making decisions
• Having difficulty understanding right and wrong behavior
• He may experience school phobia

Supportive Family Attitude

It is a family attitude in which parents both support the child, set limits, and teach control and discipline. The child does not have difficulty communicating with the parents and can express his needs comfortably. Parents teach the child to make decisions on his own and to take responsibility for this decision. The child's basic and emotional needs are met in the most appropriate way. Your parents show consistent behavior and positive and negative behaviors are taught to the child. Unconditional love, adequate tolerance and age-appropriate discipline, which are the basic dynamics of raising children, are presented in a safe environment. The child's self-knowledge; It allows the child to develop his/her own understanding and express his/her views.

• The following effects of a supportive attitude may occur on the child.
• It develops healthy social relationships.
• Self-confidence and improves self-control
• Adjusts to social rules
• Becomes aware of his responsibilities
• Has no difficulty in adapting to kindergarten and primary school.

_{Read: 0}