Living means establishing personal relationships….
We all have parents, most of us have friends and siblings, some of us are married and have children. Even though they sometimes end in disappointment, anger, or grief, most of us consider these relationships extremely valuable. We devote a lot of time to our families and spend a lot of physical and spiritual energy thinking about friendship, love and marriage.
On the other hand, despite all our efforts, we recognize how difficult it is to establish and maintain close personal relationships. We do not need to be a wise person or a prophet to do this. Establishing and maintaining close relationships is a really difficult and demanding job. Many of the personal relationships we form are notclose relationships. We do not listen sensitively to the problems, observations or conversations of our friends and family; We do not make the necessary effort and effort to support them in whatever they are interested in. Whereas they are permanent, many of our other relationships are temporary. If our friends criticize us, do not find it fun, or start to get on our nerves, we may withdraw ourselves from the relationship temporarily or forever.
True intimacy is a relationship with a different color. Most of us do not form intimate and intimate relationships in which we share our lives, our thoughts, our fears and our longings. We see establishing and maintaining real and sincere relationships as an effort that requires energy and strength. Many married couples never achieve intimacy. It is very difficult to maintain intimacy. Taking a quick look at the divorce rates, it is possible to see that many couples complain that they cannot establish intimate relationships.
These problems are not specific to romantic emotional relationships. We have all witnessed in our lives our friends turning into casual acquaintances, distant strangers, or even evil enemies. When very close friends have serious disagreements about issues that are very important to them, it's no surprise that the friendship ends. We generally do not volunteer to keep these friendships alive. But why is it so difficult to establish and maintain personal relationships? Maybe we need sincerity there is. And at first glance, having friends and a family doesn't seem so difficult. There's something wrong here. If friendship and love are as valuable as we think, and if intimate relationships are relatively easy to establish and maintain, then why are they in such danger?
Perhaps personal relationships are valuable, but not for the reasons most of us think. Personal relationships are valuable not because they make us feel good, but because they make us a better person. If this thesis is true, those who enter into relationships to feel good will most likely be deprived of the best opportunities that intimacy can bring and will not have much reason to continue these relationships.
Yes, these relationships are valuable and important, but they Starting and maintaining may require more responsibility than we first thought. Yes, many of us are reluctant to spend time and energy on them. Just like those who are too lazy and undisciplined to take care of their health, we may not have the discipline and drive to keep our relationship afloat.
Source: Personal relationships
Hugh Lafollette
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