Sometimes the thing we need and desire the most can also be the same thing we hate the most and want to disappear. This can be seen most often in relationships. The person we truly love, or the person we think we love, may also be the person we hate the most and are bullied the most.
. - When I look at fatigue in relationships, this situation draws particular attention. I see that people who suffer from this condition have grown up in this type of relationship in their families.
. - During childhood, the person has an addiction to the tyrant in the family because the child is still unprotected against life and has caregivers that he or she needs. He may feel hatred towards those people in the face of bullying, but at the same time he needs them and has to 'love' them. He suppresses his hatred and 'loves' them in order to meet his needs. - As a result, their mindsets such as 'the price of loving someone is suffering, my ability to feel pleasure and happiness from my experiences with someone can only be as a result of the great pain that came before' began to become stereotyped in their minds and behaviors. He constantly repeats this relationship that he has learned and knows in life and continues to seek satisfaction in this system that has become his normal. In other words, it repeats the trauma. First, he suffers, and then he finds comfort in the other person's protectiveness and continues his relationship with the satisfaction of loving him. He constantly looks for people in his life who 'oppress him but still love him very much' and can only find satisfaction in these relationships.
. - On the other hand, when looking at other areas of life; These people can experience sexuality in a 'pleasure through pain' style. There may be cases of inability to experience pleasure without suffering sadomasochistic pain during sexuality.
. - When we look at Stockholm Syndrome; The fact that the passengers on the hijacked plane eventually defended the hijackers also shows us the reflections of these learned relationship styles in other areas of life.
. Psychotherapy plays an active role in the process of changing such relationship types.
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