People dream of finding their soul mate and having a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are relationships in which similarities and differences are accepted by partners. In a relationship, first of all, the person must know himself and his needs. A person should express his expectations from the relationship realistically. Attributing too much meaning to the relationship increases the individual's expectations from the relationship, unrealistic expectations lead to anger, and anger leads to polarization. Such relationships do not last very long. One of the biggest mistakes made in relationships is trying to change the other partner. What usually emerges in such situations is a power struggle. Thus, there is no winner in the relationship because one should not take sides in the relationship. If one of the partners is unhappy, it is very difficult for the other to be happy. In this case, it is necessary to meet in the middle. Relationship can be divided into stages such as dating, engagement and marriage. The flirting phase is a process in which individuals get to know and understand their partner in the relationship, and have pleasant times with activities done together, and it should not be shorter than six months and should not be longer than three years. The engagement phase is a slightly more painful process than other phases. In this process, where families also come into play, the relationship can be reviewed again and again.
Marriage; Marriage consists of four stages. It is the phase before the baby, the phase with the baby, the phase when the baby grows up and becomes a teenager, and the phase when the children fly away from the nest and the husband and wife are left alone again.
There are many similarities between the first phase and the fourth phase. The time the couple spends together increases.
An increase is also observed in their needs such as understanding each other, listening, attention, love, compassion and care.
MUST HAVE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Love; Love is a set of behaviors rather than an emotion. Making mutual sacrifices prolongs the life of the relationship, but when these sacrifices are one-sided, they turn into compromise over time and can disrupt the balance of the relationship and harm individuals. Respect; Respect has fertility. It brings love and affection with it. Respect is one of the basic needs in a relationship. Acceptance; Individuals in a healthy relationship are in a relationship process that accepts differences as well as similarities. It is important for existence to be accepted in the relationship. Understanding; Saying I understand you, huh? K does not mean I am giving. In order for the couple to increase their understanding of each other, they must be able to listen to each other. There is no understanding where there is no listening. Listen to the other person, not what's on your mind... Expectations; It is necessary for the person to know himself and determine his needs. Personal needs should not burden the relationship. My lover, my friend, my family... If we replace everything, we will put too much burden on the other partner. We should also make time for different friends, family, hobbies and individual activities. A person must first be happy himself so that he can make his family happy. Criticism; You cannot eliminate a negative behavior with a negative discourse; on the contrary, you reinforce it. What the relationship needs is positive suggestions rather than repeated negative criticisms. It is important to use the language I use.
Comparison; One of the ways to achieve happiness is not to compare. What changes our life
is not being compared, but changing how we think. This can happen with awareness. Socialize; While common interests ensure positive communication between partners, they also enable having a fun time. Sexuality; During sex, plenty of oxytocin is secreted, which increases commitment. Mutual steps are important in sexuality, it is wrong to always wait for one side's step. Being able to say no when necessary prevents experiencing sexuality as a duty... An individual's awareness of taboos regarding sexuality, not using sexuality as a punishment, being able to take steps in sexuality and increasing his/her touches increases the positive feelings between partners. Perhaps the biggest reason for unhappy relationships today is the common misconceptions about sexuality.
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