Smoking is enjoyable, smoking gives joy and happiness, smoking is always with us.Personally, I first hit puberty with him, he is perhaps the most important and only witness of those moments. At first I kept my privacy with him, I laughed with him, I felt sad with him. I shared with her the happiness and excitement that occurred after my first sexual experience. He was there for me when I first got bad grades, when I first got drunk, when I lost my first loved one. Cigarettes were always present in every environment, burning softly and listening to us.
To spite those who said "Happiness cannot be bought with money", I would buy 20 happiness sticks for three or five liras.To make me happy. He would sacrifice himself for these twenty cigarettes. Every time he would work with great sincerity to make me happy, and that's why I never saw him complain even once. Even though it left a poison-like taste on my tongue at first, and then my throat complaints started with coughs, and my clothes smelled bad every day, the guy got used to it, and now I was used to accepting and loving him that way.Who is perfect? Even my wife has so many bad things.
What can't people get used to? Humans are the only living creatures that can adapt to any environment. I understood this very well: In order to get the things we want, we need to know how to give up and sacrifice many things we have.In other words, there is no such thing as eating pastries, donuts, desserts, fried foods and staying slim and fit. The cigarette never showed me its dirty cancerous face directly, it always wore a mask. I knew scientifically how harmful it was, but that mask made me happy too. Maybe because I didn't want to see a cigarette without a mask, I always had an excuse to smoke it. The slogan of the mask is “smile and breathe me in”. Years later, the truth is revealed... People like me have not realized the true feelings of those who smile at us. We thought the one who smiled at us was a friend, until he took the skin we were wearing. At that time, neither the coat we wore nor the friend in our hearts were left to us.
Years passed and I always inhaled cigarettes. I took the smoke into my lungs. I thought one pack a day was not enough, so I increased it to two packs.Because the more I inhaled, the happier and more peaceful I became.24 years strong>as a smoker, I took my calculator with me and calculated how many cigarettes I had smoked so far. First, I multiplied 24 years by 12 since there are 12 months in a year, then I multiplied the result by 30 since I smoke 30 days of the month, and I multiplied the result by 2 because I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. The result was: 17,280 packs. Since there are 20 cigarettes in each pack:691,200 cigarettes.If we count the days when I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, I have smoked nearly a million cigarettes so far. This tiny lung has inhaled the smoke of a million cigarettes. I couldn't believe myself, I couldn't believe how I could do this to my lungs. This means that I have felt distress-sadness-anger most of a million times, and each time I have smoked to make these distresses go away. It turns out that I put that problem aside each time, that is, I deceived myself. Now, in my arms, a sickness and accumulated troubles are like a ball of light. You know what's the worst thing? The years I lost. If I had quit smoking ten years ago, or rather had the courage to face my problems ten years ago, I could be a peaceful, healthy person now.
Where were we? Yes, of course, considering that I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, that's 17,280 packs. But since I often smoke more than a pack of cigarettes a day, it corresponds to 24,000 packs.Of course, this many cigarettes have a cost. Nobody donates cigarettes to anyone, so I donated as much money as the price of an apartment to cigarette companies. As a person who works hard and hard, I started to get angry at myself when I learned that I donated an apartment to cigarette companies that I have never met and that poisoned me over time and caused me to become an example of a dependent person on my children. But in those years when I was smoking, no matter how bad my financial situation got, we would always bond with him with great longing as soon as we got over the financial crisis. Years were passing, I had become friends with cigarettes and I was sleeping with them and getting up with them. He became my confidant, my bestie, my lover, my friend. I was very honest with that friendship and always remained loyal to it. There were rare days when I forgot my girlfriend's birthday or did not ask about my children's well-being, but I would ask about my cigarette at least 20 times in the morning and evening. I would breathe it in. I have changed the brand of my cigarettes once in 20 years. Believe me, I have never been this honest even to the person I married. Okay, I have never cheated on my wife, but I must have had my eye on someone. But when it comes to my cigarette and its brand; I have never even touched other brands of cigarettes, let alone put them in my mouth. Even though I could easily buy other cigarettes for a few cents at any kiosk.
We spent many years together like this. I got married and had children. I went through an economic crisis a few times, lost my loved ones, changed jobs a few times, and we passed middle age and reached this age. Until this age, my cigarettes and my family remained with me. As I said, years passed and I realized that my coughs had increased, my throat was red, and my children had grown up. My children were tired of warning their father, that is, me, many times to "don't smoke", so they left me to my own devices. When there was stubbornness and lack of willpower against smoking, the children stopped humming. Of course, children are running around chirping, I have a son, God forgive me, he is 17 years old, and my daughter is 15 years old. They are very energetic, Mashallah.
I remember very well that day, we decided to go to the park as a family and we drove to a beautiful, big forest in the middle of Istanbul because we were longing for green. We took our barbecue and ball and started to enjoy the picnic accompanied by the wind blowing under the trees.The children said, "Come on, dad, let's play dodgeball together." I decided not to upset the children and we started playing. I'm not exaggerating. After three or four minutes, I was out of breath, my face was red, and my heart was beating like it was going to explode. I asked for permission and started watching them on the sidelines. I am; I am someone who played football in the amateur league for 3 years. I decided to sit on the chair and smoke a cigarette in the fresh air. I was about to pick up the cigarette and light it, but what do I see? Our lady's father is playing dodgeball with the children. I smiled inside and said, "Daddy, who are you to play ball with?" I lit my cigarette and started to smoke it slowly with pleasure. As I took deep breaths, my father-in-law continued to play. Out of anger, I smoked one cigarette after another and continued watching them. Once upon a time, my son Mert; "I am y When my son came to me saying "I'm lost"; “Dad, what did you do?” I was startled by the question. I more; "Son, what happened, what did I do?" Before I could say that, he pointed to the cigarette butts in front of me. I counted, I drank exactly 6. Even if each one was 7 or 8 minutes, my father-in-law was playing for an average of 50 minutes and I was watching them. If you are asking about his father-in-law, he is 59 years old and has never smoked. After the game, my father-in-law came to me and said: When I said, "These children have no work to do, they get tired quickly," my entire nervous system broke down. Fortunately, I had a cigarette with me so I suppressed my anger without stress.
I realized that I was getting old from the gift my life partner bought me for my birthday two years ago. Mask against snoring. Turns out I've been snoring for years, and this year he couldn't stand it anymore, so he bought this gift unanimously with the children, for both his and my health.I said in my mind and even out loud; I reproached him by saying, "Come on, honey, I don't snore. Even if I snore, I snore for a minute or two and then I sleep soundly like a baby." “Am I right though? "Would one's significant other buy something like this as a birthday present just for a few minutes of snoring?" Before I can say it, take a visual video of me snoring for three and a half hours last night with the new camera we bought and show it on my birthday as proof. Well, it's scary! When I watched the video, even I was surprised at what kind of snoring this is. If I were a big politician or businessman, I would say dubbing or photomontage, but it's not. Even I could only stand this video for 2 minutes, so I closed it immediately. Fortunately, after this stress, I smoked another cigarette and quickly forgot about this incident. Anyway, one of the most important things happened in bed that birthday night. While I wanted to be with my wife, she didn't. I asked for it, he said he had a headache; I wanted it, he said I don't want it. Anyway, I was about to have intercourse after barely convincing myself, but at the very beginning of the journey, my beloved sexual organ let me down. I don't know whether to remind my wife that I'm a disgrace or tell her about my insecurities. That day, I didn't sleep until the morning, I went to the doctor and had a lot of tests. In conclusion: It was the result of the damage that smoking, which I know as 'Bro', has caused to my body for years. Well, it turns out that I have been feeding snakes in my bosom for years. You leave me breathless, lose my sexuality, and make me snore, I said "No, I can't handle this much" and thought about how I would quit smoking without sleeping until the morning, I was undecided whether to quit or not. But I still postponed quitting smoking, thinking I'd give it another chance. Don't look at me like that, it's not easy to leave something you've been with for years. A person gets upset when he leaves even a cat he has fed for months for a few days. Moreover, it is very difficult to quit smoking, which has known me everything for 24 years...
The next day, I was struggling with these thoughts, and taking advantage of the fact that I was not busy at work, I left work early and came home. As soon as I entered the door, I heard the children's voices from the balcony. So I wanted to quietly approach the balcony and surprise him. Open the balcony door; As soon as I said "Hello, young people", I saw my daughter and son smoking heavily.Even though they panicked and put out the cigarettes when they saw me; They didn't make it. Just as I was about to scream, I remembered my son and daughter saying to me for years, "Dad, we are bothered by cigarette smoke, please don't smoke, you smell so bad, we want to kiss you, but you smell so bad." And before I could say anything, I left the balcony, humbled and embarrassed. This incident was the last straw. I was starting to think that the next bad news would be that I would go to the doctor with a headache and the doctor would tell me I had throat or lung cancer, which I couldn't handle. I still had many good days to live. Why did I work for all those years? To live out my middle age and old age, to travel everywhere and spend time with my grandchildren. Either I would evaluate these signals and end my relationship with smoking; Or I would not prepare my own end and consider death by torture as a surprise. I took the cigarette pack in my hand, crumpled it with all my strength and threw it into the trash can. The first hour was very good, but in the following hours, my love for cigarettes mixed with longing made me stressed and a tremendous longing for cigarettes began to appear inside me.
What have I not tried since that day until that special day. Even though I tried all kinds of smoking cessation techniques for exactly 6 months, I could not end our relationship. I recently attended the Quit Smoking with Hypnosis sessions.
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