The first way to be a good parent is to communicate effectively with children. When we say effective communication, the first thing that comes to our mind is language, that is, the primary means of effective communication is sweet language and a smiling face. When we say something, how we say it is as important as what we say at the time. Pay attention to your body language. While communicating, we can list our body language as appropriate for the child, such as not looking down on the child, speaking at the child's height, making eye contact, and being a good listener.
As most of us know, creating an effective communication language starts from infancy. The communication of the mother or primary caregiver with the baby is very important in creating this effective language. Essentially, this well-established bond is very important for the healthy (secure bond) you will establish with your child. This healthy bond is created when the primary caregiver is able to understand the baby's needs correctly and respond to them in a timely manner.
When the baby cries, is he hungry, gassy, dirty, or does he need love, which is one of the basic needs? It is necessary to determine this correctly and respond. Every parent undoubtedly wants to do the best for their child, but some wrong behaviors can cause children to develop wrong attitudes and even damage their self-confidence.
Some wrong attitudes and behaviors
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Trying to get everything the child wants
Although this may seem positive for parents, it is actually an incorrect attitude. Dissatisfaction occurs in the child who can instantly achieve everything he wants, and over time, nothing he has or will have begins to satisfy him. He focuses more on things that have financial returns. It makes them insatiable individuals who cannot be happy with small things.
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Solving the child's problem on his behalf when he encounters any problem
The child, whose every problem is solved by his/her parents when he/she encounters it, does not know what to do in the face of the difficulties he/she encounters in later ages, as he/she has no previous experience in this regard, and feels the feeling of helplessness by being left in the middle of the events.
The child feels helplessness.
Support your child in the face of difficulties, but do not solve the problem instead.
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Overwhelming the child with too many toys
Play is very important for children. and it is a need for them. Play helps the child discover his talents and develop his motor skills, but most parents buy many toys for their children because they cannot say 'no' to them. The thing to consider here is not how many toys the child has.
Children with fewer toys learn to be more creative. The imagination and creativity of children who have too many toys is restricted.
Children who have too many toys have limited attention spans, and this will get worse over time.
Children who are given everything they want develop the idea that they can have anything they want. This will directly negatively affect the child in his or her future life.
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Providing everything the child needs
Give your child responsibility. In order to develop the sense of responsibility, parents need to enable the child to perform tasks appropriate to the child's age, personal characteristics and developmental period.
We can clearly see that the saying "Education begins in the family" coincides here. Namely; Children who do not have the ability to take responsibility at home always need help from others in the face of events they encounter at school or outside. As children realize that they can meet their needs on their own, their self-confidence will increase positively. For example: If a child goes to primary school gets dressed for school in the morning, ties his/her shoes, or if one of the parents tries to make the child eat the food with the thought that 'he/she will spill it on himself/herself and make a mess' without allowing your child, whose motor skills are already developed or developing, to eat, etc. Although it seems to protect the child as much as possible, it unfortunately has a negative impact on the child in the long run and can damage the child's self-confidence and personality development.
Recommendations for Parents
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Child Raising a child is a difficult task that requires patience. Supporting your child's novice experiments with patience and love is very important for the child's personality development.
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When giving responsibilities to children, give them age-appropriate responsibilities. Giving responsibilities that are not appropriate to the child's development level and that he cannot do creates a belief in failure in the child. Remember that children are individuals just like us adults and allow them to have a say in their own lives. Give the opportunity to choose between various alternatives in any situation.
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Determine the rules at home together. Be sure to inform your child about why the rules are necessary and what the consequences may be if the rules are not followed. If possible, hang the rules you created together in a visible place. As parents at home, be a role model when it comes to rules. Do not behave in ways that you do not want your child to do, and avoid acting against the rules you have taken together. Remember that a child's best role model is his or her closest parents.
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Keep your conversations short and concise
When talking to children, avoid long conversations and do not use speech-like, judgmental, accusatory or commanding language. Give your child the opportunity to express his/her feelings and thoughts while communicating.
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Frequently express to your child that you will love him/her under any circumstances. Avoid conditional sentences such as 'I will love you if you do this'. stay away. Do not tie your love to any conditions. True love is being able to love him as he is, despite everything.
Children definitely sense whether this love is conditional, even if you don't realize it. Love your child as he is, not as you want him to be.
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Do not insist on things your child does not want to do. Children should have the right to choose just like us adults. One should not try to force him to eat food he does not want. Or when you go out, don't force him to talk to his elders or peers who try to love him or want to talk to him.
'Come on, say goodbye to sister.' ��
'Brother asks your name, tell me your name'
'Thank uncle'
Mostly, parents give such guiding warnings to their children, but this is not the right approach. It is very natural that your child may not want to talk or communicate with that person at that moment, or that he/she may not like the other person and does not want to talk. Do not violate your child's boundaries and respect his/her decisions because you do not want to avoid social pressure and hear people talk about your child-raising style.
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Do not avoid answering your children's questions.
You are the best teachers to know the world and experience and learn the environment. They are explorers too. Do not give evasive, sarcastic or nonsensical answers to the questions they ask.
Children's speaking skills develop further around the age of 3 and they can sometimes ask endless questions. Although these questions are often tiring for parents, the answers you give or will give to your children's questions are very valuable for their development. You may sometimes find the questions they ask you funny and ridiculous. But without ignoring these questions, answer his current question and make your child feel that you care about him. When faced with questions you do not know, say 'I don't know the answer to this question, but if you want, we can research and learn about this issue with you.'
In summary, see your child as an individual and behave accordingly. Understand his/her feelings, make him/her feel that you listen and care about him/her in every way.
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