You have come to such a point with your spouse, whom you love so much, for whom you sacrificed everything, for whom you are loyal like no other, for whom you show tolerance and self-sacrifice, that you no longer have any tolerance or patience left. He is not the person you did everything for, he is not the person you do everything for, he is the one who can get angry and attack at one move. We have become people looking for a place. Of course, we did not come to this point on our own, the problem is sometimes with us, sometimes with our spouse, and sometimes with the environment. Now, every stimulus is open to affecting us and as a result, a state of indecision arises in us. "I love my spouse, but I am not happy. Thoughts such as "We are harming each other, I have no tolerance, we argue a lot, we are harming the environment" and the ebb and flow we experience with these thoughts emerge. We think about it and try to make a decision, but it becomes unbearable at work. We try to put our emotions aside and make decisions, but This situation leads us to an even greater impasse. The important thing is to break out of certain patterns and think flexibly, along with our emotions and logic. In our indecisiveness during the divorce process, thinking from multiple perspectives will always help us make the right decisions. List our problems, judgments, priorities, values, strong and weak points about ourselves. Focusing on which options satisfy us are indicators that we are progressing at the right stages in our decision-making. These are the methods that fall on people. Then, of course, they need to get help from an expert in order to get out of this chaotic situation. Expert is on helping people make their decisions in a healthy way. They will enter the process of showing the problems clearly and clearly. They will see the advantages and disadvantages in a healthier way together with the expert.
WHAT ARE THE DUTIES OF COUPLES WHEN MAKING A DIVORCE DECISION? HOW TO MAKE A HEALTHY DIVORCE DECISION?
Not voicing negative thoughts at the time of anger, for example, saying the word "I want a divorce" in anger will harm both parties. In this process, sudden decisions taken at the moment of anger should not be expressed. If there are adaptation problems and related fights in the first years of marriage, thoughts about divorce may last for a while. It should be postponed. If there is no cheating or violence, complete your marriage for at least 1 year and review the problems caused by divorce. Decision v After a certain period of time, exchange ideas with your spouse on the subject. Before the divorce process, make a detailed plan about your life. Try to get the divorce by agreement, this will make it easier for you. At this stage, write down the pros and cons of your spouse in a list. This is about you and your spouse. It will be very useful for you to review the positive and negative characteristics.
After the divorce, the party who left is less affected by the situation than the one who was abandoned. The party who is more affected by the situation firstly experiences a period of denial; not being able to accept the situation for a certain period of time is a very common process. .Feeling of guilt; the thought of "If I had done what he wanted, we wouldn't have divorced" is another process experienced. Then, after a certain period of time, after experiencing an intense feeling of anger towards the other party, the person's anger subsides and he calms down. This indicates that the person has overcome the divorce process.
WHAT DO COUPLES SHOULD DO FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE?
It is very important for couples to always be open to conversation and enjoy the conversation they have with each other. In general, very close relationships lead to problems. People should spare special time for themselves and long for each other. It causes them to feel better, and therefore strengthens the relationship.
The other important point in the relationship is to be able to argue and carry it out. Discussing is the best proof of the existence of a healthy relationship. You should take care to discuss in a level way, without causing crises. Sexuality is a healthy relationship. This is a very important point in order to make it work. In addition, couples should only criticize each other's faulty behavior and should avoid personal criticism that will hurt the other party. Appreciate each other, stay away from contempt and humiliation behaviors as much as possible. Do not humiliate the efforts of one of the people. When you argue, try to communicate. Do not close yourself off, do not build walls between you. This will cause distance between you. If possible, solve the problems in time and do not allow negativity to accumulate. Stay away from behaviors that will lead to explosions of anger. Violent arguments can happen in every relationship, the important thing is to set certain rules for yourself and the other party after the argument. You should allow time and stay away from words and behaviors that will trigger a fight.
AFTER DIVORCE. THE ASIAN PROCESS
Let's talk about that painful process after the divorce. After the divorce, it is absolutely necessary to get support from an expert to help us in that troublesome process. Also, make detailed plans in advance in order not to experience post-divorce confusion about yourself. At this stage, you and your spouse Together, make solid plans about what will happen to your children. In this way, you will prepare yourself for what will happen after the divorce. According to statistics, 520 thousand divorces occur in 5 years and there is a 1% increase every year. Giving a place to women in social life is the reason why television is so popular. entering our lives can be shown as the reason for the increase in divorces. Divorces occur most in Istanbul in the Marmara Region, then in Izmir in the Aegean Region. The least number of divorces occur in Southeastern Anatolia. After divorce, getting support from an expert to help us in that troublesome process. It is absolutely essential. In the last mentioned stages, the existence of experts and people in the immediate circle who can help the divorced individuals should not be forgotten and support should be sought.
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