Especially in communication situations where strong emotions such as anger and resentment are active, our reactions are based on three main behavioral patterns.
The first of these is to give "passive" reactions to the situation.
When this is the case, we find it difficult to express what the situation makes us think and feel;
Even when our own demands, interests, and rights are at stake, we adapt, give in, or avoid triggered emotions by ignoring the situation.
As the number and frequency of situations to which we react passively increases, this behavior can now be characterized as persistent.
Thus, we may face consequences such as expression disorders, not being able to say no, not being able to draw boundaries, low self-esteem and self-esteem, and self-blame. on the contrary, taking an "aggressive" position and reacting to the situation with the dominance of emotions and impulses.
As a result, although we have expressed our rights, demands or interests, aggressive interaction is not functional like passive interaction.
Because, this time, the individual who concentrates too much on himself violates the rights, wishes, feelings and thoughts of the other party.
So much so that, depending on the extent of anger, physical or mostly psychological violence may also come into play in an aggressive interaction.
As a matter of fact, emotion and thought cannot be transferred in a "functional" way with these two reactions.
What we said, three main behaviors!
Therefore, a third construct, which is right between the passive and aggressive response we mentioned above, is "acertivity."
To put it simply, assertiveness (also called assertiveness) is when one expresses one's feelings, thoughts, needs and rights, while ignoring others by making "aggressive" threats; Nor is it a "passive", timid and submissive role, allowing others to ignore their rights and needs.
In other words, it is to convey whatever you want to express in a direct, secure, honest and appropriate way to the other party.
This is not possible in aggressive and passive interaction.
Because, as a result of intense aggression, high tone of voice, low empathy, self-centered approach can only result in sanction.
On the other hand, the arrogant and obedient person has either failed to express the message or has adopted avoidant attitudes to the point of being ignored.
Therefore, in order to convey what we want to convey and to generate understanding and empathy, the best communication is with assertiveness.
Observe yourself this week.
Just find out what kind of behavior you do more often in such situations, without judging them and their comments.
Awareness is always the first step.
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