If you are proud of your friend's success, you are a "Vitamin Human"
Experts stating that when choosing the people around us, it is necessary to think 'how much he cares about my needs, how much he respects my limits and wishes', experts stated that He says that this balance can enable us to have more enjoyable relationships. Stating that vitamin relationships take us to a better version of who we are, Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais emphasizes that relationships should be maintained without changing each other, by specifying inappropriate and unpleasant behaviors, and by protecting boundaries.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais made explanations about how vitamin relationships in our lives should be. ' Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “These people care about your wishes, needs and feelings. When you have a concern, they care about that concern. They do not say, 'What is there to be upset about, never mind'. They sit down with you, they listen, they try to make you feel good. When you want to take a step in life, they support you and give you courage. Empathy and listening skills are high. They are in open communication. They tell you why they like it and why they don't like it, and they expect you to say it too. And when you say it, they sit down and talk and come to a compromise. A vitamin relationship is a relationship with people that takes us to a better version of who we are.” He said.
The balance of give and take can enable us to have more enjoyable relationships
Stating that the meaning of social relationship is actually social support, Bhais said, "Her life is sweeter, more beautiful. In fact, it is to make it joyful, entertaining and enjoyable. Chaotic processes of life wear us out. Our life satisfaction decreases, psychological problems begin to increase. For this reason, when choosing the people around us, we should ask how much he cares about my needs, how much he respects my limits and wishes, how much I respect this person's wishes. need to think. Looking at both the received and the given can help us live more moderately and in relationships.”
If you're proud of your friend's success, you're a vitamin person
"We expect more jealousy in toxic people." Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “When you achieve success, these people may be jealous of it, they may see it as a challenge, a message of inadequacy given to them. But vitamin people are proud of them. If you are proud of your friend's success, if you are happy for him, it shows that you are a good friend and vitamin person. This requires empathy and self-confidence. I need to have confidence in myself to think that someone else's success is not threatening me. Otherwise, that success threatens me. Anxiety will arise, such as, 'Alas, he did it, I couldn't, alas, he's better than me'."
People should be able to maintain relationships without trying to change each other
Bhais said, “People should be able to maintain relationships without changing each other, by stating inappropriate and unpleasant behaviors, and by protecting boundaries. He emphasized that he should be able to continue and continued his words as follows:
“For example, I wait for half an hour every time I meet with my friend. I can adjust myself accordingly if this person is equal in other areas, if the sense of trust, value and compassion he gives me is good and the only bad thing is to be late. I'll be out late for the next meetings too. But if I try to change the other side, if I say things like 'how can you do this, how long have I been waiting, do you not care at all', it will hurt me. I don't protect my boundaries, I try to make the other party change something they can't change, and I get angry because I can't change it.”
We must protect our individual boundaries in all relationships
Saying that we should actually protect our individual boundaries in relationships, Bhais expresses questioning individual boundaries as follows: “What do I want? What feels good to me? This is what I do how much I need ? Does it harm me? Can I afford this harm?’ In fact, when we go through these topics and these evaluation criteria in all relationships, when we can protect the boundaries, including the relationships with the parents, when there are border violations and when we can express this clearly, we establish much more peaceful relationships.” made a statement. Aslı Başabak Bhais concluded her words with the following words: “As a society, we may even think that drawing individual boundaries is a bad behavior.”
“As Turkish society, we generally like to make decisions together. When that happens, those boundaries disappear. A person has to decide for himself which school he wants to go to in the future, what job he wants to do, with whom he wants to join his life, in which city he wants to live. When the opposite happens, we start life without knowing the concept of limit. After the experiences gained with advancing age, the person matures, sees the damage caused by not being able to protect the boundaries and tries to protect himself a little more.”
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