It is easy to be a parent biologicallybut the important thing is to be a spiritual and social parent.
Biologically, to be a mother to me. It is enough for the body to reach a certain maturity. But is it enough to be a spiritual and social parent?
Being a spiritual and social parent means that the parent meets the needs of his child in this regard and that the parent feels happy for doing so. So, what should we do to raise our child spiritually and socially?
First of all, the child's family has a very solid foundation and he/she must know and adopt the roles of mother, father, sibling, etc. and behave accordingly. It enables the child to develop a concept of "family", and thus, this step is taken firmly in the child's own family, which is the first group in which he or she is socialized. Spiritually, with this firm step he took from his family; They have needs such as love, respect, compassion, a sense of trust, seeing themselves as an individual, being presented with exemplary parents, a warm home... By providing these, the child develops a self-confident personality and healthy personality traits.
The social needs of the child include living in a healthy family institution, understanding that he is a member of the family, recognizing the values of the society, socializing, These include communicating with other people and especially with peers, being a valuable member among friends, and being in a certain position among other people. Even though we have written these features separately, all of these features play a role in the healthy development of a child spiritually, physically and socially.
Today, parents focus more on the biological needs of their children in their children's development. Likewise, when the spiritual and social characteristics we have mentioned are paid attention to and considered as an indispensable factor in the child's upbringing, children become ready to grow up with all their needs met. Parenting has to do with learning in child rearing. Every parent first learns parenting in their own family. These learnings may not always be very suitable as examples . In the following years, while raising our children, we try to correct or even change these behaviors and apply them to our children. Socialization also guides us in learning about parents.
We learn society's expectations of parents and observe the behavior of the parents around us. As a result of all this, an image of parenthood is formed around us. In our society, parents think that good parenting means responding positively to everything the child wants, feeding him without eating, dressing him without wearing him, doing for his own children what his parents cannot do for him, and taking care of his hair. For example, the child may cut back on some necessary expenses or even go into debt to buy the shoes he/she wants. These are mostly biological and partly related to social parenting. Parents who do these may compare their own child with other children, humiliate them, devalue them, may not value their feelings and thoughts, may take responsibility for what they have done for their child, may not trust them, may use violence (verbal, physical, emotional), may not set a good example.
Today, families have become "child-oriented families". In other words, the center of the family is the child and the child's wishes. The social relations of the family are adjusted according to the child's lessons, exams and even the whims of the child. Some parents say that the more they fulfill the child's wishes, the better the mother. They think they are fathers. Where do children run within the framework of such a relationship and family environment? Parents seem to have gotten used to the child-oriented family, but it is also understood that they are not very happy with it. For a solution, parents, society and the values of the society need to be protected. Let's not forget that our children are like dough that has not been processed in an oven. If parents want, they can make beautiful cakes, pastries and buns out of it. If they want, they spoil the dough and it becomes ready to be baked in the oven as spoiled dough.
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