We have all had times when we are stuck between our mind and our heart, when our mind does not want to but our heart does not obey, and the two conflict.
Relationships, in particular, are one of the areas where this is most prevalent. Emotions are more prominent. We experience constantly changing emotions, sometimes positive and sometimes negative. Sometimes we think that we cannot cope with some emotions and want to run away from them. If we listen to our feelings, we are afraid of getting hurt more, appearing weak, losing control, shying away from experiencing our feelings, and ignoring them. The mind is always active during this time. It evaluates our emotions and is always on duty, just like a soldier. It is the mind that determines what the emotion experienced means to that person. However, sometimes there comes a time when this inseparable duo begins to conflict within itself. What one wants, the other does not like, the conflict grows and as a result, we may experience indecision or not feel comfortable with the decision we make.
So what should we do in this situation? How should we evaluate this conflict when such a conflict occurs?
In fact, both the mind and the heart exist for our good and are two separate parts of an inseparable whole. Both of them try to meet our 'need' in different ways but basically. While one meets our need to be loved, to be happy, the other meets our need to be safe, and in a situation, both of them actually play a role for our well-being. While the mind is the controlling side, trying to choose what is logical, the heart is like a naughty child trying to do what it wants. The conflict occurs at this exact moment. In this moment of conflict, what we are usually used to saying to ourselves is 'which one should I listen to?' However, what we need to do is not only listen to one side, but also listen to the voices of both. Just as seeing with one eye disrupts our quality of life, ignoring one of them means ignoring a large part of us. What we ignore continues to disturb us and make us uneasy. In this case, what we need to do is to understand our needs by hearing both, to find a middle way that will satisfy both, in short, to achieve 'integration'. Integration allows us to feel better and move forward on our journey to ourselves.
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