The sleepless nights that followed and the anxious scenes about the moment I was going to make my presentation…
Why am I not like the others? I am expected to present my work, for which I have already prepared well, and answer a few questions. However, I think that everyone will evaluate me before the presentation even starts and will make fun of me if I make the slightest mistake. Not to mention my trembling voice and my red face when I start speaking…
I think about what the audience thinks about me. “I wonder if I'm dressed properly or if they can tell my voice is shaking?” They will say that he got excited again for me. They'll even think I'm incompetent. The worst part is that after all this, I now think I'm incompetent too. Even though I know I have to go through these stages in order to move up in my job, I think the best thing I can do is look for another job. I feel tired under anxious thoughts after every situation where I need to express myself, such as talking on the phone or giving a presentation. Now, instead of getting tired, I know that choosing a path where these thoughts will not be present will be a relief…
We know that many thoughts pass through our minds during the day. So how many of these are realistic thoughts? We have certain thought patterns in the face of life events due to our innate temperament characteristics, the experiences we gained in our childhood, and the effects of genetic and environmental factors. Our thoughts are the meaning we attach to the event we experience and the way we interpret the event. How we think determines how we feel and behave. Likewise, how we behave affects our thoughts and feelings. So what we think and how we act is about ourselves. We shape life according to this cycle, which begins in thought and ends in thought. While the thoughts that come to our mind when faced with an event can be positive or negative, it is our basic beliefs that create these thoughts. Our core beliefs provide us with ideas about ourselves and the world. For example; It gives information about whether the world is a reliable place, how resilient we are in the face of difficulties, or how valuable we are. If your underlying core belief says you are worthless During your depressive episode, your belief that you are worthless may be triggered. Therefore, with depression, you may quickly get the idea of "I am worthless" in the face of life events. However, you may have anxious thoughts, as in the example above.
When examining negative thoughts, it is important to be able to reflect on these thoughts. Because when these thoughts are examined, we see that most of them have no function and are even unrealistic. While these thoughts that come to mind at the moment the event occurs seem to be 100% true, when you think about it and examine the existence of alternative thoughts, you may see that your 100% true belief loses its validity. When I ask my patients about the first thought that comes to their mind when they experience an event, they often tell me what they feel: "I got angry, anxious or excited", etc. Being able to reach the thought is the first step towards changing it. Consider that the event you experienced may have a different interpretation. It may not be easy to think of alternatives when trying this method at first. You may have been encountering the same thinking errors for years and have difficulty getting out of the influence of distorted thoughts. You may suddenly find yourself in a whirlpool of anxious thoughts because thought will give birth to thought. Keep trying to come up with different explanations for events rather than the usual explanations. Realistic thoughts instead of distorted thoughts will offer you more realistic emotions and improve your quality of life. Remember, what people think and how they act is up to them, relax…
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