Being a parent is a long journey in which different needs are taken into consideration at each time period, different ways of behaving towards children develop, and what is best for them (!) undergoes constant change. Due to wars, epidemics and poverty that lasted until the mid-1900s, parents primarily made efforts to ensure their children's survival and to meet their basic food/clothing needs. In the 70s, this process was spent with the aim of escaping the political atmosphere without being harmed and adapting to the developing world order in the 80s. Since the 2000s, the struggle for survival has been replaced by 'living instead' in order to raise ideal/perfect children in the competitive world. A world has been created full of people who become more and more protective due to their belief that the world is an unsafe place, and even decide on their behalf, do everything they need to do, take all the responsibilities, bear all the consequences, in short, 'Overparenting'.
When I say I should be a good parent, my child should always be happy and not sad, children are prevented from learning by exploring, their enthusiasm for learning by experience is discouraged, they do not have the chance to choose, and they do not make any effort in a system where the best is already determined by their parents. A generation has emerged that does not find it worth doing, cannot take responsibility, cannot individualize, has difficulty in making decisions, and cannot meet its personal needs. Even though families think they are doing it for their children with all their good intentions, they unknowingly affect their personality development negatively, actually giving the message 'you are inadequate, you cannot succeed'.
Children who cannot take responsibilities and cannot make their own decisions express themselves because they feel under constant surveillance and pressure. They have difficulty expressing themselves and cannot show their true self. Their difficulty in making decisions and expressing themselves in the environment they enter can lead to self-confidence problems, anxiety disorders and depression over time. Regardless of age, parents are dependent, They pass into adulthood as individuals who have difficulty in social areas and have difficulty in maintaining their lives.
What can be done to avoid 'over-parenting' and to help our child become an independent individual?
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Trusting them
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Accepting that they are an individual, letting them learn by experiencing,
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Giving them time to take their responsibilities, what they need to do Leaving homework/room tidying/clothes – food selection etc. areas to them,
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Being supportive and encouraging, allowing them to make mistakes and experience the consequences of their mistakes,
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Not helping unless they want to, leaving the choice to them when making suggestions,
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Not making decisions on their behalf, just being a guide
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Making him feel that you love him and that you are always there for him no matter what...
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