Child abuse, which is a bleeding wound in society, is generally thought to be committed by strangers to children, by people they do not know at all. It is generally believed that these people are persuading the children to walk around in front of the doors of the school and say, 'Your mother or father is calling you, come, I will give you chocolate, I will give you a toy'. There is an opinion. Although this is a possible way, the results of the research show that the majority of child harassment and abuse is committed by people who can easily approach the child and be in the same environment, such as close family, relatives, neighbors. Generally, people who are included in the social fabric in which the child lives. These people are people who know the child and it is not difficult to show closeness to him. Unfortunately, the number of children who have been harassed and even raped by relatives such as relatives, neighbors, familiar neighborhood people, whom the child easily trusts and goes to, as well as family members such as fathers, older brothers, uncles, uncles and cousins, is not small at all..
Such a pain. An experience creates irreparable wounds in a child's spiritual world and is a painful trauma that is very difficult to erase for a lifetime and can never be forgotten. However, the child is not mature enough to digest and make sense of this heavy trauma. Especially if he has been abused by people he knows and trusts, the child cannot overcome this damage and difficult trauma. Since he does not yet have the ego capacity to process and digest, he will forget the traumatic memory by unconsciously throwing it out of consciousness, perhaps in order to keep his psychological system in balance as a defense. However, even if he does not remember, this traumatic memory will cause psychological problems and pathologies for which he does not know the cause throughout his life. Even in his adult life, even in his life. The traces of this trauma are always with the person throughout the life..
Here we are talking about the deep and destructive memory that the child keeps with this pain, shame, humiliation, fear and anxiety throughout his life..
The most abuse of all. Its distinctive feature is that it does not contain any witnesses other than the person who was harassed. It does not allow the person who is being harassed to defend himself or to blame the harasser, especially if he is a child. He is very afraid of the possibility of making the person who is being harassed guilty. It forces the victim to hide the crime. This situation is experienced not only in our country but also in many parts of the world. *If the abuse involves physical contact, the child is referred to the law and therefore to a forensic physician examination. During the physical examination performed by the doctor, a genital examination is also performed. During the general body examination, bruises, bruises, and bruises are detected during the examination of the whole body... Behaviors and attempts to touch the sexual organs may be a sign of sexual abuse.
*It is really difficult for children who are abused to tell what they have experienced. Even if the victim is a small child, of school age or an adolescent, it is even difficult to express this grim situation. It would not be an exaggeration to say that it is impossible..
*In this case, body language begins to speak where the language is silent. When it cannot be explained with words, changes and strangeness occur in the child's body language as well as in the child's behavior.
*Talking about some behaviors seen in children who have been sexually abused. If necessary, it may be enlightening to mention the following..
*Normally, as children progress through the stages of development, they become curious about learning sexuality to a certain extent depending on their age, about recognizing their own sexual identity and understanding their physical characteristics, and about discovering and making sense of the differences in sexual structure with the opposite sex. .
* However, this curiosity is usually moderate and they are satisfied with the answers they receive to the questions they ask. It is useful to be careful, thinking that the child's sudden and excessive curiosity about sexuality and starting to ask different questions about sexual life may be a sign that the child is being abused. By being curious about his own genitals and those of his friends, he realizes that he is the same as his peers of the same sex and that there are differences with his peers of the opposite sex. By comparing this, they want to recognize, learn and understand the characteristics of their own gender while they are still at nursery age. In other words, they generally share and experience these experiences with their peers. Behaviors that contain sexual content towards the child can be considered as a sign of sexual harassment. Starting to play may be a temporary behavior of a healthy child discovering his sexuality, or it may be a sign of abuse. starting to play, urinating in areas other than the toilet, starting to have trouble cleaning in the toilet, showing more effort to clean by using more toilet paper than before, *The pictures made by children in childhood give us many clues about their inner world. When we examine the pictures made by the child, we can see that he has started to draw the reproductive organs more clearly in the human pictures he draws, apart from the painting characteristics of his own age. .
* The child who is being abused tries to show his genitals to others and therefore does not show any hesitation may also be in favor of the abuse. It may manifest itself in the form of withdrawing, looking at the genitals, examining them, or trying to touch the genitals of a pet. Trying to touch the genitals of others, initiating sexual games, having unexpected information about sexuality, suddenly n or increased masturbation, starting to avoid undressing, touching or entering certain parts of the house, showing signs of stress, although there is no injury to the genital organ, discharge, itching, pain in the anus area, itching, infection in the urinary tract or vagina area and the cause cannot be explained. Difficulty walking and sitting due to sensitivity in the anal area, sexually transmitted diseases, change in eating habits, sudden physical complaints that cannot be explained by other reasons may suggest trauma. At an early age, the child shows a tendency towards alcohol and drug use and excessive sexual arousal, the child regresses to a level of development that is behind his/her age, cannot eat his/her food or urinate, cannot stay alone in his/her room, becomes suddenly afraid of going to bed alone at night, and sleep problems. and the emergence of nightmares is significant.
Storms are breaking out in the child's emotional world. Blunted emotions may develop, the child may become dull and unable to express his emotions. He/she may have tantrums.
Constant anxiety, fear, irritability, phobia-like fears with unknown reasons, the child may feel guilty about everything,
The child may remain in despair and develop feelings of helplessness, loss of self-confidence, and obsessive behavior. The child's disgust with himself, his self-hatred, and the emergence of thoughts that he is bad, guilty and dirty are unfortunately frequently experienced negative emotions. Becoming excessively panicked by everything, every sound, shadow, and frequent sounds of separating from the environment and returning to his own inner world. Being separated from the environment and being in one's own inner world to the extent that one cannot perceive what one sees, starting to cry a lot or becoming silent and introverted, starting to have nightmares in one's sleep, starting to leak urine at night, getting into a different anger and aggression than before, excessive changes in personality traits and relationships with one's environment, siblings and friends. change, receiving negative feedback from the nursery or school about a sudden change in the child's behavior, parent, father and teacher It is noteworthy that the child develops observations about the child that they find worrying, develops excessive fear and avoidance towards an adult from a close or distant environment, and begins to have obscene conversations that are not expected for the child's age.
Get help by having the child meet with a specialist and have soft and empathetic parents instead of being oppressive. It will be necessary to adopt attitudes and approach the child's hurt and sensitivities in accordance with the child's hurt and sensitivities. It may be wrong to apply excessive pressure to a child who is already very frightened, even to make him tell the truth. A child who has encountered such a misfortune will probably keep such pain inside until his adult years and will hesitate to explain it..< br />
Clinical Psychologist
Dr Derya Müftüoğlu
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