Wherever there is a bilateral relationship, there is a power struggle. In the process of evolution
, the subject that has always been on the agenda of human beings is to be strong and to survive
. Having power seems to be a fundamental issue
. Also, wherever there is a relationship, there is manipulation.
People attempt to create a sense of shame in us
in order to control our behavior now and in the future. Beck.
Manipulation creates feelings of fear, shame, guilt. These 3 emotions are at the root of deep traumas.
Manipulation: Influencing one's thoughts and behaviors without his will, knowledge, approval or even
is to direct, change their opinions, manage their emotions. Emotional
and mental control. The manipulator says I did everything for you,
says I'm a good person. Narcissistic and psychopathic people are manipulators. The goal
is to subjugate the victim, to control and
to rule him.
Underlying all attempts to dominate is a
lack that needs to be filled.
In relationships, one side is dominant, powerful, and the ruler is manipulation.
The manipulated person does not notice and strangely feels bad
. The determinant here is the concept of power.
A good manipulator forces the other party to apologize
even though he is wrong. Jealousy is when the envied person is threatened by a real or imaginary rival
. Jealousy requires a third person.
It is triggered by fear of the loss of the envied person. Being jealous is
manipulation. Comparing someone to someone else, putting a real or
imaginary rival against him, forcing him to react is emotional torture
that is manipulation.
Manipulator is actually the weak side who needs power. Manipulator
It is biased and not well-intentioned. He acts to direct
, not to make you feel good. The ability to persuade is high.
The person who is manipulated does not realize the change in himself easily.
The person becomes unhappy, inactive, withdrawn and self-confident
over time. Strength in relationships Those who find the authority of the slain
safe and take refuge in this area like a slave are actually victims of psychological torture. Increasingly
alienates himself. It does not realize that its borders have been violated, it strives to be suitable for the strong
side. This is an effort
to be accepted by the authority, to be protected, to be loved, to be a part of his life. As he becomes alienated from himself, he becomes attached to this power and feels close.
He finds everything he lost in himself. Any place where he is not
is scary, uncertain, risky.
The manipulator is always right and the other party apologizes. The embarrassment
corners him and makes him feel foolish and guilty.
The manipulator suddenly gets angry and passes out uncontrollably
can just as quickly go on as if nothing had happened. Outbursts of anger are
a way to regain lost control. Anger serves
manipulation. In sudden and uncontrolled anger, the manipulator thinks that he has taken control
and relaxes. The manipulator is a power absorber. It makes the victim submissive and submissive. In fact, the manipulator is the party that feels powerless and worthless
. Those who are narcissistic and psychopathic are intelligent, attractive, and
cold-blooded. Therefore, they are good manipulators.
People who have been manipulated for a long time believe that they are inadequate, worthless, incompetent, lame, useless
, powerless and weak. They can't be tenacious fighters
and they believe they don't deserve it. The manipulator distorts the truth and
makes the other party suspicious. It presents a pebble like a diamond.
GASLIGHTING:
Controlling another's mind, will, convictions, behavior, way of thinking
. To make him dependent on himself, to control his will
, to absorb power, to enjoy superiority, to doubt
one's own mind, to paralyze his judgment. People
may think that they are even losing their sanity. Joy of life,
enthusiasm, joy, desire to socialize disappears.
Manipulators create a space where they find themselves strong and safe.
They position the other person in their life as they wish. Manipulator
who will influence knows well. He doesn't invest in the wrong person.
He chooses people who are helpless, low in self-confidence in relationships, and easily manipulated
. It makes the other party feel guilty with sudden outbursts of anger and sudden calming down. He can easily spot the other side's weaknesses and weaknesses. He is emotionally
weak, afraid of not being loved, not approved, being alone.
He has feelings of worthlessness that he cannot cope with. He is successful in exploiting emotions
. It focuses on the one who shows devotion to him. Undecided
leaves him in a dilemma and confuses him. He blames the other for things that are under his
responsibility. It is inconsistent.
Those exposed to manipulation for a long time become more and more distant from life.
They become reluctant to socialize and fail to realize it. Reluctance
is an important signal. Their goals and motivation are lost.
They show signs of addiction. I can't help without asking her, I can't decide
, I can't act without her, I feel bad.
LOVE BOMBING
Love bombardment, love by someone she admires
be bombarded with br />. It's a form of dating violence. Severe emotional damage
leads to depression and anxiety. It is an effective manipulation
method. It turns into an armament as a cover of love. Love and desire
can cause a distorted view of reality. The feeling of being above the ground
, the feeling of being above the clouds, the feeling that everything is happening too well to be true
is an indication of the severity of the love bombardment.
The person feels more valuable than he has ever felt before. has. He is a patient
lover, he does not tire of exaggerating the interest in pursuit. He tries to conquer
with all his might. This intensity and speed confuses the person, but
they like it. The person thinks that he is not loved that much in life.
Nobody cared that much, he didn't look me in the eye, he didn't listen to me
he thinks. The person believes that he is at the center of his life.
Makes sacrifices, surprises Traces, gifts, gestures etc are many and are part of this game. It makes the person feel valued and very special. The person falls in love with him.
He wants to be with her for the rest of his life. It develops an addiction to intense attention
without realizing it. That's the purpose.
Next comes the crash. Intense interest suddenly withdraws love. And
crashes to the ground. When the bombardment of love stops, there is a feeling of deprivation
like the deprivation of drug use. The prize is cut off.
Thus, the control falls into the hands of the manipulator. When you
behave as he wants, when he does what he wants, when he does what he wants
it gives the message that he will only benefit from the same attention and love.
The principle of rewarding and deprivation works.
Mind o After experiencing a high level of reward and satisfaction, he is always
motivated by the reward. Struggles to get the reward back.
The person who is made to feel valued, exalted, addicted by the bombardment of love
fear of losing with the loss of attention, anxiety disorder,
feeling of deprivation, exacerbation of addiction experience problems.
Fear of losing makes it even more dependent on unhealthy relationship.
The process of enslavement begins. Loss of relationship, decreased sense of self, feels worthless
and addiction initiates the destruction process.
The person does not carry out this in a planned program. Naturally, he learned this situation
and spontaneously executes it. By establishing power and dominance over his partner, he satisfies the need to feel valuable. Narcissistic people do this
.
Inner emptiness, the need to be valuable, the need for approval lie at the bottom.
Over time, they try to satisfy their own need for approval
by depriving the other party of this need. First create a dependency on approval and then deprive it of it
.
It stems from the need to see oneself through the other. The only person to be hit by the Love
bomb is the practitioner. The other is the victim.
Those who need to be repaired with a new relationship that has worn out from old relationships are at risk
. Against this situation. Those who attribute their precious and happy feeling to the existence of a partner can easily fall into violence. Wounded by a new relationship
They can easily be exposed to this violence while trying to wrap their bees.
The person thinks to himself that this attention has been very good.
If everything is moving too fast to be real, it is necessary to be careful and slow down
. It is essential to see if there is balance or balance is lost.
If excessive love and ignorance come together, it is at risk.
If parents show excessive love for their child and suddenly withdraw it
the child learns this as a model and will continue to grow in the future. they apply it in their relationships.
People who grew up in families with inconsistent parents learn this
and apply it.
They continue this relationship pattern in the future. Love first, then devalue.
Loses sense of self in the exposed.
In the cycle of love bombardment, this situation always continues.
Alienation, inability to realize oneself, being exempt from transfer,
loss of spontaneity, lack of authenticity, unfamiliarity,
dehumanization.
things that the individual deprives and transfers.relationships, bonds, values,
meaning and their loss.
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