-Determining and approving the other person's needs
-Saying what we want again and again if necessary
-Asking questions to understand the other party better
-Finding the points you can agree on, as well as the points you disagree with
- Taking a break
Identifying and approving the other person's needs
If you think that people are not listening to you, maybe these people may not think that they are being listened to
. Approving the other person does not mean that you share the same ideas with him, it just shows that you reflect back to him what the other person thinks and feels. Ex. You say that you don't understand what we are talking about and you get angry. From my perspective, I don't think I don't understand what we are talking about right now.
Saying our own wishes again and again if necessary.
When you think that what you say is not understood, repeat what you said. Don't apologize
don't explain. Be direct and state your request again. Don't get into an argument, don't get angry, don't try to refute what the other party says. Do not answer the question "Why?" Instead, say "I prefer/I feel this way". Do not present evidence or information for your own sake.
Asking questions to better understand the other party
Critic: interesting to see you here at this hour
You: what exactly bothers you?
br /> Critic: we all work overtime, but you leave at 5.
You: what bothers you about me leaving the office on time?
Critic: work needs to be done, I'm the one responsible.
You : What bothers you about me leaving the office on time?
Critic: I'm usually the one who gets the work done. It would be better if you stayed until things are over.
You: Thank you for clarifying the issue.
Finding the points you can agree on
Instead of saying yes to everything the other person says, yes to some of it. This may make our job
easier. A good way to play a win-win game is to find the points you agree on and express them. You exaggerate the little things. – Sometimes I get angry. You never gave me the support I wanted. There were times when I could not provide support.
Taking a break
When the discussion starts to escalate and you realize that the conversation is losing its fun, take a break. E.g.
I understand what you said, I want to evaluate the situation a little. I want to respond to what you said
later, I'll think about it a bit.
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