Frustration; It is the state of excitement caused by the inhibited instincts of a person who cannot achieve the goal. We experience the feeling of being blocked many times in our daily lives. However, their severity is different from each other. We react sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously to these situations of frustration. These reactions may be planned or unplanned. These reactions we give are our methods of coping with events.
There are two basic coping methods for frustration.
a) Conscious and planned coping method: It is within a certain plan and program. The person is aware of what behavior he is doing and for what purpose.
The source of the feeling of frustration stems from either the environment or the person's own characteristics, as in the case of anxiety. If the feeling of frustration arises from the person's own characteristics, the steps to be taken are different; if it originates from the environment, the steps to be taken are different. The feeling of frustration can arise from both the person's own characteristics and the environment.
People from different cultures and social environments see different obstacles in the same environment because they grow up in different social values and norms. The basis of the obstacles in the environment arise from our perception characteristics. Being aware of these frustrations allows us to deal with the feeling of frustration more effectively and successfully.
In short, a person who is aware of his environment and himself will largely stop the emergence of the feeling of frustration that he cannot cope with. A person who knows himself and his environment can better evaluate his own desires and desires. A person who knows himself averagely does not put himself in situations that are not suitable for him. Thus, frustration is prevented before it occurs.
Communication methods must be determined to prevent frustration from occurring or to deal with it.
Suggestions for Safe Communication< br />
The main reason for disability caused by the person is; It is the person's inability to express what he wants clearly and having problems with self-confidence. A person who cannot say what he wants cannot be successful in getting it. As a result, he experiences some emotional difficulties. These troubles manifest themselves in anger, resentment, It manifests itself as aggression, introversion, depressive state, being resentful and unhappy.
Safe assertiveness is directed towards the way the individual communicates with other people. The aim here is to ensure that the person can convey his/her feelings and thoughts to the other party in an effective and constructive way.
Secure communication consists of the following stages.
1) The individual communicates with himself/herself. should review their style and become aware of their unique communication behaviors. Are you a person who keeps it to himself, does not say what he wants, does not say what he would say differently because it would not be shameful, and is afraid that he will be opposed if he objects? It is important to find answers to these questions at this stage.
2) Social situations where safe communication does not take place need to be reviewed. The individual should think about why he does not behave in a safe and assertive manner. This situation benefits the individual in two ways. It helps the individual understand himself and see what kind of self-perception he has. The second lies in the individual seeing how the new safe and assertive behavior model he will learn and his communication behavior will be beneficial to him in such environments.
3) The individual should take a communication that is important to him/her as an example. The individual must remember the communication that is important to him/her in all its details. It is important for him to think about what he says, how he behaves and how he feels, and how he can change these.
The following issues in communication need to be determined and organized.
• Eye contact
• Hand, arm and body movements
• Facial expression
• Tone of voice
• Fluency of speech
• Timing
• Content
These Since they will form the whole of the communication, it is important to review and rehearse these issues in advance to ensure safe communication.
4) It is important to make a list of options for other communication methods. If we are having problems with our way of communication, we should make alternative plans on how else we can communicate and, if necessary, get suggestions from experts on this subject.
5) Imagine your way of communication in advance. You can rehearse it. Dream Establishing is the first step towards making something happen. It is a way of doing it once. What is imagined actually serves as a rehearsal. It prevents possible disruptions. After imagination, the real rehearsal can be started.
6) Plan these thoroughly to apply them to real life and apply them to your real life.
A person who cannot express his wishes, feelings and thoughts clearly cannot be expected to be happy. The basic element of safe communication is that the person is happy. The benefits of secure communication are immediately evident in daily life and make a person happier in his life. This enables the person to be more successful in his work and activities.
Coping with Unsolvable Problems
There are some situations where our frustration is when we cannot succeed or It is caused by something we are not capable of. Even if we want to be successful in some sports branches because we are not tall or have an athletic structure, we are not likely to be successful.
The first thing to do is to accept that the feeling of frustration is something in life. This will strengthen our coping situation. The feeling of acceptance is the most important element that puts people at ease.
Besides these, there are two more steps that will be good for our feeling of frustration.
• Increasing our level of tolerance regarding the feeling of frustration
• Leveling our expectations. bring it down
If you still have problems in your communication despite the suggestions above, it would be beneficial to get help.
So far, we have talked about conscious and planned reactions to the feeling of frustration. The person does not always act consciously and plannedly.
b) Unconscious and unplanned coping method: There is no planned or programmed situation in this behavior method. Reactions occur spontaneously. The behaviors performed here are unconscious. The person is not aware of his/her behavior.
• Aggression: Aggressive behavior is a frequently encountered situation that is done unconsciously in case of frustration. Aggressive behavior sometimes overcomes frustration. (verbal expression such as anger, resentment, etc.) Sometimes, the situation It won't do anything other than lead to a dead end. (Like physical violence, etc.)
• Learned helplessness: It is an important concept at the social level. It is abnormal to expect a person who is despised in the family, unwanted, constantly criticized negatively, who has not received any support to be successful, or even whose success has not been seen, to be successful or to strive to be successful. When a person is exposed to these behaviors, he will not make an effort to be successful or think about being successful. In fact, he won't even realize it when he succeeds. He will not have such an expectation. Therefore, since the situation he is in is the same as the situation he has learned before, he will not act and will accept the situation.
However, no matter what bad situation he is in, the person has the opportunity to get out of the situation he is in.
If the bad situation the person is in continues, this There are two reasons.
1. The individual wants that situation to continue.
2. He does not make enough effort to change that situation.
• Regression: When the individual was prevented, he was a child. is to do the behavior he does. For example; Talking like a child to get someone to do what he wants.
• Sliding into the World of Dreams: Occasional slipping into the world of dreams reduces the tension in people. However, when this starts to happen frequently, it can gain a dangerous dimension as the connection with the real world will be lost. In such a case, the person's harmony in daily life may be disrupted.
• Self-Destructive Behaviors: When the person is prevented, he may engage in some self-destructive actions. Smoking a lot, eating too much and gaining excessive weight, excessive alcohol use, etc. They may engage in behaviors such as.
• Emotional collapse: Thinking that the bad situation the person is in will not change no matter what happens causes him/her to experience emotional collapse. When this emotional state continues for a long time, it would be beneficial to get help.
o Ways to get rid of emotional depression
♣Learn to express your emotions or get support in this regard.
♣Improve yourself in safe communication and initiative.
♣ br /> ♣Try taking small steps rather than doing nothing.
♣Make a to-do list lyre. And start doing it one by one. This step is the application of the small steps technique above.
♣Believing that the emotional depression will be limited and temporary. Believing that the current situation will eventually pass.
Frustration is a situation that is common in human life and has reactions that vary depending on the person. The above reactions are shaped and varied from person to person. It has the chance to change and shape the situations in human life. The most important beginning of this is asking. The effort we make or the step we take to solve the problems we experience will increase our capacity to cope with the problem.
It will diversify our solution methods. As long as we accept the situation we are in and act to change that situation.
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