Love has existed since the first humans. Flowers and pollen were found in the graves of Neanderthals who lived between 300 thousand and 40 thousand years ago, and wall paintings depicting the theme of love and affection were found in their caves. These show that even the people who lived in that period felt interest, affection and love for each other. So, did these humanoids who experienced love a long time ago also experience the pain of love? The answer to this is probably yes. Because while the feeling of love includes happiness, joy and an intense emotional rise in the beginning, in the end it is felt as anger, hatred, sadness and sometimes intense destruction. Loving and being loved, which is an unchangeable rule of nature, has affected people in the past, is affecting them today, and will continue to affect them with the same intensity in the future.
The Pain of Love is a Real Pain
The life of love 6 It varies between months and 1.5 years. In a healthy relationship, love evolves into affection. This does not mean that love disappears, on the contrary, it becomes a secure attachment and love. If the feeling of love continues for too long, this situation can become an addiction and obsession rather than a healthy situation. The neurobiological process in the brain of a person in love and the process in the case of obsessive-compulsive disorder have been found to be quite similar. The pain of separation causes intense stimulation in the area of the brain called the amygdala. The absence of the person we are separated from causes such a feeling of panic in this part of the brain that it has been determined that these feelings are the same as the feelings of helplessness, loneliness and abandonment experienced by a small child when left on the street. When falling in love, the positive emotions experienced at the beginning and the negative emotions experienced at the end are of equal intensity. Even if many years have passed, the person remembers this traumatic event in detail, and this causes him to experience the pain of the separation for a long time. Over time or with professional support, these negative feelings may decrease. Even though this pain is felt slightly throughout a lifetime, it does not remain at the same intensity. When a person loses the person they love, they experience feelings of deprivation, just like in addictions. Nowadays, there are many people who are ignored, excluded, and insulted by the person they love, but still cannot give up on them. There are people. As a result of this addiction, work, home and school performance deteriorates. In some people, this pain may increase over the years and cause other psychological or psychosomatic disorders. In fact, the pain of love is also a kind of mourning reaction.
The Pain of Love is Educational
The pain of love can also be instructive. It matures the person and takes him to a different level of consciousness. It gives the person the ability to empathize and look at himself and life from different perspectives. A person who tries to make sense of the separation and understand the feelings of the other person also examines his own feelings more clearly. Because the person you fall in love with is the mirror of the person. People often choose people who match their inner world and inner problems. A person who sees the other person as a tool to see his inner world also achieves success in getting to know himself better.
How Should the Love Process Be Experienced?
The most fundamental element that ensures the permanence of love is the mutual recognition of two separate freedoms. It is very important for people to see and accept each other's positive and negative aspects as they are. Over time, love must turn into a relationship based on respect and love. A healthy spiritual structure tolerates the fact that the other person may say no or give negative feedback from time to time. People who see and accept the positive and negative aspects of life as they are will have much healthier relationships with their loved ones and others.
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