Yes, new excitements, new worries, new prides…. September is approaching, schools are opening, as every September, the most question we get from mothers is how will I prepare my child for school? how should i send it? Is she ready to go to school? Although we measure it cognitively with tests, unfortunately, there is no single way to measure it emotionally… Like every difficulty experienced for the first time, it is natural for children and parents to experience some difficulties in the process of getting used to school. We can say that it is one of the most important factors affecting perception and harmony. At this point, a concept called separation anxiety comes into play. Separation anxiety is the worry of being away from the real caregiver. The main feature of Separation Anxiety Disorder is that the child constantly experiences extreme distress and anxiety when separated from home or their attachments. The most common symptoms in APD are; We observe separation-related distress, a refusal to be alone or without an adult, and a refusal to sleep away from home or caregivers. We often see this with the presence of children who do not want to go to school because the society does not want to be separated from their parents. Exhausted parents, who are tired of waiting in the schoolyard and do not leave their child's side at home even for a minute, are among our clients that we often listen to in the therapy room. Studies have shown that over-protective and over-controlling family attitudes of children increase the level of anxiety in children. It is also thought that childhood separation anxiety behavior is related to mothers' own anxiety levels. According to this view, which emerged from the idea that anxiety is a learned behavior, it can be said that separation anxiety seen in children is a contagious behavior from the mother. When a child spends his time with an anxious parent in the first years of his development, he can identify this behavior with himself and use it in new connections, making it a permanent behavior. Most parents know how difficult it is to leave their separation-anxious child with a caregiver, daycare or teacher. parent In these cases as; It should be realized that the child's separation anxiety is not only caused by the child, and the contribution of the family is very important in overcoming this situation. Professional support should not be avoided when it is observed that they cannot cope with the anxiety experienced by the mother or the child. Considering that parental attitudes also have an effect on the child's anxiety, it will be a very important step for families to be aware of certain stereotypical behaviors they use and to understand which behavior causes anxiety. I wish all children and their families good luck and good experiences in this process.
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