''I will not be that kind of mother. When I become a mother, I will leave everything I do and take care of my children. I will listen to their needs, play games with them, and spend time with them. I will not be a bad mother who neglects my children by constantly cleaning the house.''
'If a child cannot tell his mother about his problems, to whom can he tell them? If a child cannot share his feelings with his mother, who can he share them with? Who will understand a child if even his mother does not understand him?
My mother usually does housework. Cooking, cleaning etc. Doing it seemed to relax him. He would sweep the clean house every day and start the day with a duster every morning. The milkman would come to our house on Thursdays and fresh milk would be cooked at home. Most of the time, my mother would forget the milk on the stove from cleaning and it would overflow. My mother would always shout and complain when the milk overflowed. My brother and I would be very careful at those moments. In order not to make noise, we didn't make a sound because we thought that my mother might shout at us.
Since I was the oldest child in the house, when I was 11 years old, my mother was expecting me to help with the housework. My mother began to frequently state that she was getting older and that she could not keep up with the cleaning she used to do. With my child mind, I couldn't understand why my mother was so meticulous... However, we had a spotless house. Moreover, even though my brother was little, he always collected his toys and was a clean child.
One day, my mother and I were cleaning again. He gave me the duster and asked me to dust the bedside tables in the bedroom. After I finished my work, I left the duster in the bathroom and started watching my favorite cartoon. My mother suddenly came in and shouted at me, saying, "Are you done and watching cartoons?" I told my mother in a low voice that I was dusting. My mother said, "Did you just dust two nightstands?" she shouted. However, I did what I was told. Nothing more, nothing less… I really didn't know that I had to do more.
Now that I'm older, I understand that; My mother's pugnacious behavior was due to her being a mother at a young age and her inexperience. All the responsibility fell on his shoulders, and my father was not understanding enough towards him. Able to satisfy oneself and reveal one's existence The only thing he would care about was the cleaning he did. It made my mother very happy when people came to her house and told her how neat and clean her house was. That's why he was always doing more, much more.
Dear parents! Some behaviors that we deem small and do without thinking; You see how deep traces it can leave on our children.
We now need to understand that we neglect our children in daily life and do not listen to them. This is a big problem, and putting this problem on our children and constantly expecting something from them makes our children deaf and dumb. As long as we continue to fill the void within us with our children, we raise individuals who do not open themselves to us and who do not listen to you.
A child whose heart flutters from both tiredness and fear when he is exhausted trying to make up for the mistake he made... With timid eyes in a helpless state. A child who hears scolding from her mother, from whom she expects compassion... A child who will carry these memories, which her mother does not remember now, and the traces of these past experiences, of which her father is not even aware, throughout her life...
And the client was afraid of becoming a mother. Actually, her whole fear was to become a mother like her mother. Despite their 5-year marriage, she was not ready to have children. Despite all her husband's insistence, she thought she still had time to become a mother. Because she was preparing herself to be a mother model that was the complete opposite of her mother. On the other hand, she blamed herself for being unfair to her mother. That she had to be perfect, all material and spiritual processes had to be ready. While she was focusing on perfection, there were other beautiful things she missed, and she couldn't see how much this desire to achieve perfection was actually wearing her out.
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