Humans have formed societies by coming together with other people in order to cope with the frightening power of nature. The smallest and most important element that makes up these societies is the family. Marriages established with the expectation of happiness and togetherness that will last for many years can sometimes suffer wounds over time. The dreams built in the beginning are destroyed like sand castles. Couples cannot escape the cycle they are in and remain unresolved. Unfortunately, while the process ends in divorce, both individuals and children, if any, are negatively affected.
The method of coping with the problems faced by the family in its life cycle is unique to each family and shows the cultural level of that family. Problems occur when one or more of the characteristics such as trust, love, respect, commitment and loyalty are neglected.
If violent arguments during the marriage process turn into major disagreements, if communication between spouses has come to a halt, there is a constant tension within the marriage. If there is anxiety and anxiety, if there is no sexual intimacy due to constant anger and resentment, if there is a trust problem, if common sharing has decreased, it means that getting support from a family and marriage counselor has become inevitable.
Changes in family life (change of job or moving). ), loss, grief and traumas, parenting skills, alcohol and substance use, eating disorders, divorce, work stress, economic problems, adoption, step-parent/child relationships are among the topics supported in family and marriage counseling.
In marriage counseling, couples are given the correct perspective they need and their communication skills are restructured in accordance with the structure of the family. Members are evaluated both individually and together.
In the safe and open environment created by the therapist with his knowledge and experience, practices are made to solve the problem by making them realize the cycle of how disagreements occur and how they are maintained by the spouses. One of the most important points here is the desire and cooperation of the couples.
THE ROAD TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
Planning to build a life together means loving each other very much. to love, to make great plans for the future, to live in the same house and spend the day Facing the routine problems of life are very different phenomena. Couples who are together in structured environments may sometimes experience unexpected problems in marriage.
Premarital counseling provides accurate information to individuals about marriage, task sharing, household budget management and parenting, looks at premarital relationships with an impartial perspective, and facilitates the transition to married life. aims to increase closeness, commitment and trust in the relationship.
Marriage is a life partnership where the best sharing is experienced where real communication, friendship, love and respect are provided. In premarital counseling, couples come to sessions together and ask the questions they want to know and express their fears. Since each client and each couple has a unique structure, configurations are made according to the personality characteristics of that couple.
COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS IN THE FAMILY
The slogan question of our age: Does love end when we get married?
To find the answer to this question, dozens of books have been written and are being written, and visual broadcasts and interviews with experts are still being held. Keeping love, respect and attention alive is something that requires some effort, but is not impossible.
After marriage, some couples come to a point where they stop doing the behaviors they did before. Living with the same person for a long time can often create a boring and suffocating atmosphere. Sometimes, even though there seems to be no problem in the same house, people gradually become emotionally distant from each other. What makes marriage strong is spiritual, physical, sexual and cultural harmony. The ability to accept and respect the spouse's personal characteristics as they are and understanding about ideals, values, beliefs and goals are the basic elements of marriage.
The first years of marriage are of great importance in terms of getting to know each other and are the period when conflicts are most intense. The aim of marriage and couple therapy is to support couples who want a strong and always vibrant marriage with a personalized, appropriate counseling program.
PREPARATION FOR THE BABY
One of the most enjoyable situations that life offers us is having a child. However, no living thing in the world A baby does not need as much care and protection as a newborn baby. The length of this process, feelings of loneliness, professional problems, financial difficulties, family conflicts, and problems with their own families may be reflected in the unborn child. Many parents may not be aware of these complex emotions that arise with pregnancy. Regardless of all these apparent reasons, parents may not feel ready for the birth of a child yet due to their personality patterns.
The physical and psychological changes experienced by many pregnant women also cause intense anxiety. The psychological state of this period, which varies from person to person, for some women; happiness, maturity, for some women; It can be experienced as anxiety, anxious waiting.
- Concerns about the health of the baby
- Fear of birth
- Fear of the mother that her body will deteriorate during and after pregnancy
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- Anxiety about being a good mother - Fear of not receiving adequate support from spouse and other family members before and after birth
- Concerns of the woman about not getting along with her husband or what kind of a father his husband will be.
It is one of the most common problems during pregnancy. It would be beneficial to seek help from an expert if these concerns become affecting daily life.
BEING A FAMILY
As we continue our lives, our roles also affect us. accompanies. Such as spouse, manager, employee, mother and father. The child's self-concept is a reflection of the attitudes shown to him by the adults who are important to him. Therefore, parents must retain all the control necessary to guide the child's development. The starting point of problems between parents and children is always the parents. Some families leave the boundaries the child needs too loosely, while others are too tight. Due to the unique structure and uniqueness of each family, exactly how this should happen can be determined according to the structure of that family.
Children of parents who have adapted to themselves and their environment have the support and leadership provided to them. Thanks to this, they gradually develop their identities, integrate and reach adult life as autonomous beings.
While doing a very important job such as raising children, parents may sometimes feel indecisive, may not be able to find a solution, or may not know how to react to a problem. It would be appropriate to get expert support in order to prevent the problems from becoming permanent.
HEALTHY DIVORCE PROCESS
Divorce for whatever reason. It becomes a problem for the spouses and the children, if any. In divorces that are not by mutual agreement, the party that does not want the divorce feels a void, and deep depression situations often occur.
The reasons for divorce are diverse: spouses' jealousy, relations with relatives, financial difficulties, child care and upbringing, sexual problems, We can list reasons such as violence, spouses' extramarital affairs, substance addictions, mental and physical disorders, migration, and indifference. Some of the divorces may even mean punishing the other spouse.
Indecisiveness during the divorce process, the reaction of the environment to the divorce, the level of influence of the children, concerns, concerns about loneliness after the divorce, moving from the current lifestyle to a very different dimension make individuals face complex emotions. confronts. In fact, how ready couples are for divorce is a separate issue that needs to be considered.
During the divorce process, it is important not only before but also after the divorce in terms of repairing negative emotions and coping with what they have experienced. Counseling service provides support in getting through this process with the least harm for the parents and the child.
Therefore, individuals should receive psychological support on how to achieve a healthy divorce process and how to maintain effective and productive parenting roles before and after the divorce. .
Couples are enabled to hear and understand each other in the safe and open environment created by the therapist's knowledge and experience. By making the cycle of how disagreements occur and how they are maintained by the spouses become aware, practices are made to solve the problem.&n bsp; One of the most important points here is the desire and cooperation of the couples.
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