The '2-year-old syndrome', which is the period that all healthy children go through, is usually seen between the ages of 1.5 and 3. The concept of 'terrible two', translated from English as 'two-year-old syndrome', actually includes the general developmental characteristics of 2-year-olds. Calling this change in behavior, which is a normal process, a syndrome raises concerns in families that there is a developmental disorder, but it should be known that this process is one of the expected developmental stages of the child and the correct approach of the parents here is of great importance in order not to affect the child's further development processes. During this age, children often try and push the limits, and the responsibility of the parents is to draw clear boundaries by trying to understand the child's needs.
The child, who gradually begins to separate from the mother and begins to feel himself as an independent individual, thinks that he can do everything on his own. but he faces his physical inadequacy. This confrontation may occasionally lead to outbursts of anger. Parents who cannot understand their outbursts of anger become angry at their children's behavior, and their children become even more angry at this angry attitude, thus entering a cycle that is difficult to get out of. Although families may worry that this tense period will always continue and that their children have a permanent character trait, it should be known that it is a temporary period.
Symptoms of this Period
Children who experience intense ups and downs in their emotional world may begin to exhibit negative attitudes during this period. As his language development progresses, he tends to add new words to his vocabulary and use negative words frequently. These; There may be words such as 'I won't', 'I won't eat', 'I don't want', 'no', 'no way'. The child who attracts the family's attention and tries to prove his individuality by using these words may have a fit of anger, throw himself on the ground, and test your limits with these methods when he does not get the response he wants. So, how should parents act who want to complete this process in the healthiest way?
How Can Parents Support This Process?
As always, in this process, 'understand' It is critical to give the child the feeling of 'I'm surprised'. For a child who is in an existential struggle, feeling understood by the person he or she connects with will make him or her feel safe. The second important point is not to constantly give orders to the child and expect him to obey. It would be a correct approach to give options to the child who is trying to prove himself, instead of giving him constant orders on the issues he resists. For example; 'No!' to the child who said he would not collect his toys and wanted to dance. Responding by saying 'You will collect your toys' will do nothing but create conflict. Instead of; 'You want to dance and have some fun, I understand you and it's a great idea. Then quickly collect your toys, let's start dancing immediately.' This means that, compared to the previous sentence, it shows a more collaborative attitude and allows us to give the child the feeling of being understood.
Another important point in this period is consistency of families. If the answer is 'no' for any reason, this no should not be followed by yes. When this happens, children cannot learn their limits, and when you answer no again in a different situation, they enter into conflict with their families to hear yes. To prevent this, children need to learn that the word 'no' just means 'no'. Additionally, parents should not give different answers on the same topic. In other words, the father should not say yes when the mother says no.
Limits should be set, he should hear no when he needs to hear it, but every behavior he does should not be blocked and his child should be made to feel that he can do what he wants by offering options. A child who is constantly thwarted becomes reactive and irritable the more he is thwarted.
There is no need to engage in an authority war. It is useful to remember that if you solve your problems strictly and by giving orders in order to establish your authority, your child will learn this as a solution.
At the beginning of the article, I mentioned that one of the biggest needs of the child in this process is the desire to prove that he is an individual. . In order to keep this feeling alive, it is useful to lean down and speak to the child's eye level when talking to the child, warning or explaining a situation.
A 2-year-old child or Since he cannot think of the end of his actions, he will gain experience by testing his parents' limits. They need you to be with your child and calm during this process. And their biggest supporters are you, their parents.
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