Selfishness means only caring about your own needs and thoughts without caring about the thoughts and needs of the other person. Selfishness should not be confused with self-centeredness. Self-thinking behavior is a healthy behavior, but if self-thinking is done by ignoring the needs of others, it is selfishness.
WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF SELFISHNESS?
Selfishness may be a learned behavior in our childhood. Children learn by watching and imitating. Selfish behavior is learned from the person we take as a role model as a child. That's why our childhood memories are of great importance. According to cognitive psychology; It may be caused by ego schemas. It is about how a person defines himself and how he sees himself.
HOW TO DEAL WITH SELFISH PEOPLE?
Selfish people consider their own needs more important than the needs of the other person. They have difficulty adapting to issues that require cooperation and have difficulty accepting criticism. So how can we deal with selfish people? In order to cope, we first need to know ourselves very well. We must recognize our own thoughts and schemes so that we can deal with them. To deal with selfish people, we can set boundaries between us and them. If you're having trouble setting these boundaries, it's time to look at our own schemas. Some people have “sacrifice, subjugation” schemas. These schemas of ours ask, “Why do we exist? or “How can I change these schemas?” If we ask ourselves these questions, we will be stronger to deal with selfish people.
Selfish people may blame you and experience outbursts of anger when they do not have their own thoughts and wishes. In such cases, you should not hesitate to express your own opinions. If you do not explain yourself by constantly underestimating yourself, the other person will continue this behavior because they will think that what they are doing is right.
Selfish people may come at you when they do not want what they want. You should not use the language he uses to deal with selfish people who use provocations. You should always be yourself and move away from the person whose provocation makes you uncomfortable.
&n bsp; You may notice that selfish people do not listen to you when they are chatting. They just want to continue the topics they started. In this case, you can change the direction of the conversation by opening more general topics.
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