Starting school is a stage that has a very important place in the lives of children who grow and develop day by day and is very effective in the formation of their personalities. This stage that each child goes through can produce different results. Depending on the child's attachment pattern with their parents, children may show different reactions to school. In the eyes of our society, children who do not stay away from their parents and keep their word, seem to be more educated and well-behaved, but this situation is not so functional when it comes to school age.
Securely attached children are not those who do not leave their parents, but those who explore and interpret their surroundings comfortably in their presence. In other words, securely attached children are more free to explore the world. Attachment type is very intertwined with school adaptation because school means the discovery of a new world for children. While securely attached children are more successful in adapting to school, the situation is opposite for insecurely attached children. In addition, studies show that insecurely attached children are more likely to have school adjustment problems to turn into a psychological disorder.
Behind school adjustment problems lies the fear of separation or what we call separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is basically the state of anxiety that a child shows when he or she is separated from a caring parent or caregiver. Separation anxiety is one of the three most common psychological disorders in children in Turkey. Studies show that 75% of children with separation anxiety experience problems with school adjustment. In addition, children with this diagnosis display more introverted behaviors. Studies show that children with separation anxiety disorder may be afraid of objects and situations that they perceive as danger, such as thieves, kidnappers, animals, monsters, and darkness. They may show anger and aggression towards someone forcing them to separate themselves from their attachment figures. Seeing people, seeing creatures, looking into his room, especially in the dark or alone (American Psychiatric Association, [APA], 2013).
What Can Be Done?
When you come home from school after school, chatting about the day strengthens the bond between you. Children who enter a new environment and have to deal with difficulties may encounter problems at school. It is very important to take these problems seriously and not to gloss over them.
If she tells you about her problems, this should be taken seriously.
-We've all experienced these.
-Nothing will happen. It will pass.
-Phrases such as: Don't worry about it… these sentences will not be functional as they may damage the bond between you.
It is better to give serious and realistic answers to the child as an individual and to convey that you are there no matter what. will be. However, it is necessary to intervene in children's problems and give them an opportunity instead of solving the problem. It is very important for the development of the child to try to solve his own problems and to be able to express it correctly even if he cannot solve it. One of the most important situations that will create your character is how well you can express yourself.
-You can talk about this situation with your friend and tell him about your feelings.
-If you tell your teacher about this situation, it will help... It strengthens the child's communication skills and increases his/her self-confidence.
If every problem is intervened as a parent, this may damage the child's self-confidence and courage. It can make the child dependent on the parent. Being dependent on the child's parents can slow down his development and become a risk factor for psychological disorders.
Children whose problems are solved by their parents show higher rates of introversion, communication problems and aggression. For these reasons, the child should be given space and intervened at necessary points.
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