Of course, it is ideal for our children to grow up with parents who are healthy, get along well, have positive emotions such as love, trust and respect towards each other, are sensitive to each other's needs and expectations, try to understand each other, and can resolve their conflicts with healthy communication. However, just as life does not always offer us the ideal, we may not be able to offer the most ideal environment to our children. Those who ignore the damage caused to children by a conflicting marriage, in which parents are always ready to attack each other and the environment due to unhappiness, and mutual expectations are not met, making individuals unhappy and angry, are those who ignore the so-called 'their happiness'. We often see those who do not have the courage to divorce because of ' and their children who show symptoms.
For example.. Of course, individuals who are experiencing a crisis in their marriage should not decide to divorce by trying to cut it off when the marriage becomes difficult. It should be known and accepted by everyone that it is necessary to make an effort to continue the relationship and marriage that started well, on which efforts were made, and on which dreams and lives were built. However, divorce is not always as harmful and makes the child unhappy as it seems! If the parents divorce by agreement and without conflict, then If they can share the responsibility of the child equally, do not abandon the child with marriage, and make an effort to make each other's lives easier, the child will grieve and get over the separation and can continue his life in a healthy way. We see the biggest problem in individuals and their children who continue their conflicts over their children despite their divorce and cannot fully let go of each other. .Fathers who leave their children with the mother, forget, do not call, do not ask... Depressed mothers who make the child angry with the father because he is angry with the father, forget that his child needs his father, prevent him from seeing him, and cannot continue his own life... Children who do not respect their ex-husband's lives even though they are divorced and try to prevent them from continuing Ex-spouses who constantly confuse them... Grandmothers, grandmothers and grandfathers who are angry at their ex-son-in-law and daughter-in-law and who do not hesitate to share what has been done and events in front of the child... They believe that divorce is a situation that will necessarily make the child unhappy, and individuals do not have the freedom to rebuild their lives. believers... These are the ones who unknowingly cause the divorce to have a negative impact on the child.
Additionally, if we give examples of the scenarios we frequently see and their consequences:
• Having harsh and inappropriate discussions during divorce in the presence of children can give the child traumatic memories that the child cannot forget after the divorce.
• Negative feelings towards the child's only mother and father, Turning the child into a supporter and sharing with them gives children burdens that they cannot bear and may cause psychiatric problems such as depression and anxiety disorders.
• After sharing with them all the mistakes made by their parents, the people they trust most in life, they may learn that they cannot trust anyone in life, and the world may become an unbearable place for them since their childhood.
• When the child is not contacted in order not to hear or talk to his father or mother, the child may feel abandoned by his parent, become sensitive to abandonment, and may not be able to connect or trust anyone in order to avoid experiencing this again.
Divorce is certainly not the first and most popular solution, but it is not possible to talk about a happy child in the presence of an unhappy mother and/or unhappy father.
In any case, it is important to get professional help during this period to manage the separation in a healthy way and to solve and prevent the child's false beliefs and thoughts that we may not be aware of or cannot share with us.
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