The word father, like the word mother, is a word that contains thousands of meanings, responsibilities and burdens. Since it is about child education, the roles are divided into two. The father's influence on child development and the mother's influence on child development. In the later periods, it is divided into periods such as early adolescence and late adolescence, 0-3 age period, and the beginning of school period. So, as you can understand; The effects of families on children vary from time to time. So what is the contribution of fathers to this development? What should they do and what should they pay attention to?
How Should the Father-Child Relationship Be?
First of all, we should never ignore the fact that the child needs the father as much as the mother.
This need is primarily a spiritual need, not a material one.
The perception that 'the mother deals with the child's spiritual needs and the father deals with the child's material needs' is completely wrong.
The mother's place is separate and irreplaceable for the child. , the place of the father is separate and irreplaceable.
A father model based on old teachings, compressed into some molds,
causes the child to experience some emotions incompletely in his development and to have certain feelings that he will receive from the father
It causes the child to receive the characteristic achievements incorrectly or incompletely.
A relationship in which the father shows his love to the child and does not spare his attention should be taken as basis.
Of course, this interest is not in the direction of approving every wish of the child, but in a measured authority.
What are the effects of father's attention on the child? Let's consider this first;
Father has an impact on the child's development at many points. Time spent with the father directs the child's characteristic formation.
Psycho-social development:
A healthy father-child relationship is important for the child's psycho-social development.
In the period when the child sees himself as a whole with the mother, the child experiences his first socialization with the father.
In other words, during infancy, which is the period when the child is with the mother all day long,
When the father comes home and takes care of himself, he receives a different attention.
This, in a way, lays the first foundations of the concept of society in the child's mind.
He becomes one with the mother, Having established a bond of love and trust, a bond with the father is formed when he discovers his father's existence.
With the attention shown by the father, this bond supports the psycho-social development of the child based on love.
b.Gender Identity. Gain:
Another important influence of the father; It is the effect of the child on knowing himself and gaining his sexual identity.
This situation begins in boys at the age of 3 as seeing the father as a rival and jealousy of the mother from the father.
The child accepts the father's power and understands that he cannot cope. The phase of assimilating the father begins.
Eventually, he assimilates the father and begins to act like him, taking him as an example. Thus, this process is completed.
For girls, a healthy father-daughter relationship forms the basis of the girl's thoughts towards the opposite sex, and the rules for her relations with the opposite sex in her future life
As can be seen, the father's healthy approach has a sensitive effect on children's healthy acquisition of their sexual identity and their ability to determine how others will treat them in later life.
c.Intelligence Development:
Time spent with the father has a supportive effect on the child's intelligence development.
Because this time period offers the child a different field of discovery and experience, thus ensuring that the child's attention is more intense.
This means that the more quality activities the father and the child spend their 'daddy hours' with,
the more the father contributes to the intelligence of the child, whose perceptions are completely open.
d. Self-Confidence Development:
Father's attention is important for the child's development of self-confidence and for him/her to become a self-confident individual in the future.
As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, the father is like a figure in the child's eyes. is a superhero.
Seeing the attention and support of this powerful superhero has a great impact on the child's self-confidence development.
An individual with high self-confidence achieves success much more easily in both business and social life. .
SUGGESTIONS FOR THE IDEAL FATHER
Spend time together. Watching movies, playing games, reading books together Cooking, chatting, and making plans based on your hobbies that you can do together on the weekends will strengthen the bond between you.
Show your child unconditional love and attention. Make physical contact, hug him, he will feel valued, loved and will be happy. Thus, his physical and psychological development will develop more healthily.
Be the right role and model for your child. If you want to have a habit of reading books, you should read books too. You cannot set the right example by explaining the harms of alcohol and cigarettes, but you can also convey that this is the right example by not using alcohol and cigarettes.
Ensure discipline with love. Be calm about it and act fairly. The guidance and discipline that children need should be provided within certain limits, not with punishment. Show your children the consequences of their behavior, reward them with positive behavior and allow them to make mistakes.
Respect your child's mother and treat her with love. If you are arguing, make up, especially in front of your child. Communicate your rules cooperatively in front of the child. Even if you have a conflict on some issues, resolve this situation in front of the child, so that the child will better understand the place and importance of communication in your life and behave accordingly in his social life.
0-3 YEARS OLD CHILD THE ROLE OF THE FATHER IN DEVELOPMENT
The father has a very serious role starting from the pregnancy period. During pregnancy, the mother's entire life (emotional, social, business life) may be disrupted. During this time, it will be much healthier for their relationship to spend more time with the mother, to support her and to make her feel that she understands her emotionally, so that the mother does not feel lonely.
THE ROLE OF THE FATHER IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE DAUGHTER
For girls, father means both the first communication with the opposite sex and the first bond with the family. In this phase, which is between the ages of 3 and 12, the father's communication with his daughter forms the basis of the daughter's subsequent emotional and social life. It is important for the father to be smiling, spend time with his child, act solution-oriented, be in a calm mood and be at peace with his surroundings. It will also support the child to become a self-confident and positive communicator. And years later, it will enable them to become individuals who positively support their spouse choices and married life.
THE ROLE OF THE FATHER IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE BOY.
The boy develops by taking his father as a role model. Therefore, first the father should pay attention to his behavior. There is always some competition in the father's relationship with his son. This competition can sometimes lead to power struggles. What the father should pay attention to is not to take the power struggle personally and to act in accordance with the child's developmental period. It is very important in the relationship between father and son to be able to empathize with his child, help him manage his emotions, control his anger and direct it correctly.
THE ROLE OF THE FATHER DURING ADOLESCENCE
The adolescent child requires responsibility and responsibility due to his/her period. He may try to show himself in some risky activities in order to say that he is in life too. In oppressive families, although adolescents are pacified, they can also unconsciously get into more radical events and situations. In fact, the excessive behavior of the mother or father may cause them to get into these situations. Therefore, we should always have an understanding approach that shows that we understand them, and we should not forget to remind the rules and limits from time to time. As a father, the rules should be framed and structured with the child at regular intervals.
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