Authoritarian, overindulgent, indecisive, overprotective, rejecting, negligent, or democratic. These are the words that we will generally encounter when we examine parental attitudes under the headings. The reflections of each attitude on the family and the child are different. Changing life conditions, interests, new social environments etc. With the effect of these factors, parenting roles also changed and different parenting styles emerged. New generation parenting styles; helicopter parenting can be defined as slow parenting and minimalist parenting.
1-HELICOPTER PARENTING
'Helicopter parenting' is about a child's mother, "turns around like a helicopter in my head." It is a term formed with the expression ”. Intended; Parents who try to keep up with everything their child can do, take on the responsibilities that their child can do, and are very anxious while doing these behaviors. They work tirelessly like a full-time personal assistant for their children. This approach is reflected in the words of the parents as well as their behaviors. Sentences such as "Our homework is over, our exams start next week, we got a 90 in Mathematics" clearly show the separation between the child and the parent.
Helicopter parents; They are overly focused on their children, overprotective and controlling. parents; they cannot accept the unhappy or unsuccessful children, and they often try to meet with the school, the teacher or make secret decisions to change the existing situation. They cannot accept the possibility that there may be a mistake on the child's side, on the contrary, they question the other side. While this approach may be life-saving for children in the short term, it leaves negative traces on the child's personality that are difficult to erase in the long term. Being overly focused on the child hinders the sociality of the family, increases the level of domestic stress, and creates future anxiety.
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Helicopter parenting; It means raising dependent individuals who have difficulty in making decisions freely, feel a sense of inadequacy, have not developed problem-solving skills, lack empathy, have frequent health problems, and absolutely need another individual today and in the future.
2- SLOW PARENTING
New York columnist Lenore Skenanzy in 2008 He published an article titled "Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Son Travel By Metro By Himself" and this title made quite a stir. The concept of 'Slow Parenting' also came to the fore after that article, causing great controversy. This type of parenting is interpreted by many as negligence. According to the author, this approach allows children to be "children" by giving them the opportunity for freedom.
What is 'Slow Parenting'? It is an understanding that favors spontaneity. He argues that unplanned activities should take place in children's lives. For example; He advocates giving priority to the child's playing with his peers in the surrounding area instead of going to the after-school swimming lesson, running out of there and trying to catch up with the violin course, and waiting for the private lessons teacher at home when the violin course is over. They accept that they should learn the rules not by imposition, but by living in the natural environment and over time. Today, whose life is full of courses and activities, instead of 'project children', children who are intertwined with nature find healthy. It is very important for children to be in touch with nature. Because children need to be physically active in the fresh air, not spend hours watching a screen at home.
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Slow parenting; in other words, it means respecting the child's being an independent individual and not restricting their freedom. It doesn't mean lawlessness or indifference. It is a healthy approach to allow the child to try innovations, to give him the opportunity to solve any problem, to offer options and to leave the decision to him.
3-MINIMALIST PARENTING
Minimalist parenting is a term that argues that parents already have everything they need to live a healthy family life. Parents who have this understanding do not neglect their parenting duties while continuing their routine life occupations and running business. Because they don't have too many choices, too many items/toys, too many responsibilities in their life. minimalist parents; they can't afford to give the child the perfect parent, school, food, and toys. For them, it's enough that something is good enough, it's perfect. Searching for the essential is wearisome.
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Minimalist parents first know themselves, know their personal values, and then try to get to know and understand their own families. This awareness; It gives them confidence in their decisions. They favor simplicity in their decisions. From among several options, they decide what is right for their family. The important thing is to achieve a lot with little and get the highest efficiency.
Expert Clinical Psychologist & Family Counselor Dilara SAYAR
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