Teaching a child toilet habits is one of the most challenging processes of parenthood. It is a process that is both difficult and requires patience. Some theorists have attached great importance to toilet training. They claim that toilet training can leave a very deep mark on the child's life. For example, according to Freud, toilet training given strictly causes the child to develop character traits such as stingy, conservative, overly meticulous and stubborn in the future, while toilet training given very loosely causes the child to become a wasteful, messy and careless individual in later life. It happens.
Nowadays, of course, we do not take toilet training so strictly, but it is certain that the toilet training given affects the psychological characteristics of the child.
So at what age should toilet training start? First of all, I should point out that this is a phenomenon that depends on the child's physical development as well as his psychological development. In order to toilet train the child, the anus muscles must first mature, that is, reach a sufficient level. According to research, children reach this maturity at approximately 18 months, that is, around 1.5 years old. In other words, toilet training given before these months will not be of any use and will cause additional feelings of shame and guilt in the child.
There is no direct way for a parent to understand whether the child's anus muscles have matured or not. A pediatrician who sees your child regularly can understand this better and let you know. However, it is not necessary to find out whether the muscles are mature in order to start toilet training. The best thing is to wait for 18 months to pass and then start training with small steps.
Every child is unique. Every mother-child, father-child relationship is unique. Therefore, it is not possible to give a clear prescription for toilet training. While a directive may work very well for one child, it may have an adverse reaction for another child. However, it is possible to talk about some very general situations.
First of all, you should know that it is a tremendous feeling for your child to be able to control his/her stool. This is the first time the child has made such a big contraction in his own body. Ol has won. In a sense, this is one of the first feelings of independence that the child gains. This is a very important milestone for him. For this reason, being able to do this gives most children a great feeling of pleasure and can also excite and even scare them.
Therefore, it is very important to have a calming attitude towards your child. He must feel that you are with him. You should never force him, embarrass him, or punish him when he can't do it. Such attitudes can lead your child to develop severe feelings of shame. This can prolong the process and even trigger some behavioral problems for many years. You should be accepting and kind towards him.
Yes, we should avoid using punishment and pressure when the child falters in the early stages of education. Instead, rewards should be used, especially in the beginning. When he tells you to go to the toilet, when he does it in the right place, etc. Don't forget to reward him appropriately. Give this reward both verbally and by giving him something he will like. However, when the behavior begins to settle down, that is, when the frequency of saying the toilet and going to the toilet at the desired place and time begins to increase, and when undesirable behaviors begin to decrease, reduce the frequency of rewards and space them out. Also be careful to use different rewards. Continuous use of the same reward will lead to habituation to the reward, which will cause the reward not to have the expected effect. Thus, the acquired behavior may not be as permanent as we would like.
Do not forget to turn toilet training into a fun activity for your child. Do it like a game. This is up to your creativity. As I mentioned above, gaining stool control and muscle control is an extraordinary development for the child. For this reason, the child may sometimes attach too much value to his feces. It is useful to keep this situation in mind. For example, behaviors that may seem strange to us adults, such as waving at the feces while flushing the toilet and saying bye-bye, can make toilet training easier and more enjoyable for the child. Remember, children's world is a little different from ours is. We must adapt and respect that world.
Another important point is that children may try to use toilet behavior as a weapon on adults. Especially if you act overbearingly, impatiently, or react negatively, they will sense how uncomfortable it is for you. For example, they may use toileting behavior as a weapon against you when you get angry at them or when you don't do what they want. They may want to annoy you by pooping under the table, behind the sofa, etc. Of course, this behavior is not a very consciously designed behavior. In order to avoid this, it is actually enough to pay attention to the points I mentioned above. If you do not react negatively to toileting behavior that occurs in an unwanted way and place, but reward positive behavior, you will take this weapon away from them.
Of course, toilet training is too complex to be summarized in such a simple manner. is the process. You may feel like you are having a hard time in some situations. Just when you think it's all done, you may suddenly experience a reversal. First of all, do not immediately feel defeated. Take it from the beginning if necessary. Don't forget to get help from an expert.
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