Every child comes into the world with unique characteristics. However, the positive and healthy experiences he has gained from the moment he was born contribute to his emotional development. Emotional recordings begin from the time the baby is in the womb. The baby develops the ability to regulate his emotions in line with the attachment relationship he establishes with his parent/primary caregiver. For this reason, the strong, consistent and positive bond established with the parent/primary caregiver is an important factor for the development of emotion regulation skills.
Emotion regulation (regulation) skill can be briefly defined as giving the most appropriate reaction by stopping and managing thought, behavior and body instead of giving an impulsive reaction when faced with a difficult situation. Children are not born with this ability. They tend to be more impulsive and egocentric in the 0-3 age period, which we define as the early period. As mentioned, the child's attachment style and the experiences he has gained in life from the mother's womb determine the level of development of emotion regulation skills.
The child's behavior is not a 'problem'; It is his reaction to the problem he is facing. A child who has not developed the ability to regulate their emotions and has not learned to calm themselves exhibits behaviors that are defined as 'problem'. It should be remembered here; that such behavior is an expression of the brain under stress. At this point, the child needs the support and guidance of the parent/primary caregiver.
Developing the ability to regulate emotions also contributes to the development of skills to comply with limits, solve problems, and tolerate waiting/postponement. All these help the child to function more healthily in academic and social areas.
Some methods that can be applied to teach children to regulate their emotions;
First of all, support your child in recognizing and expressing their own emotions. be. Ask him how he feels about a situation. If he has trouble recognizing or expressing his feelings, you can help. eg. 'I think this situation may have upset you' you know.
When faced with a challenging situation, let your child relax first. It is not possible to produce a solution without relieving the negative and compelling emotions felt. Encourage your child to discover resources that relax him. For example; You can prepare a box in which you can put comforting things. Snacks he likes, a scent he likes, a material he likes to touch-relax, etc. you can put You can also create a calming/relaxing corner in your home. You can create spaces where there are comfortable cushions, where you keep your favorite books, and where there are quiet and pleasant toys. A tiny blanket and plush toys also contribute to a warm and relaxing environment. In addition, it is important to be with your child when he is experiencing negative feelings and to make them feel your support. You can give the message that feelings are not permanent by using sentences such as “When you calm down, when all this passes…”.
Be a role model for your child in regulating emotions and giving appropriate responses. You can share examples from your own life where you have been able to respond appropriately by controlling your experiences, emotions and behaviors.
When you teach your children to regulate their emotions, you will teach them something important about coping with difficulties. You can guide your child by keeping in mind that emotion management is a skill that can be developed.
Book recommendations to help develop emotional awareness in children;
Space 3+-Anna Llenas
Emotions 3+-Libby Walden, Richard Jones
When Sorrow Knocks on Your Door 3+-Eva Eland
Contents of My Little Heart 3+-Jo Witek, Christine Roussey
The Kitchen of Emotions 4+-Marc Nemiroff, Jane Annunziata
The Boy Who Is Friends With His Feelings 4+-Dr. Lauren Rubenstein
Bird of Heart 4+-Michal Snunit
My Feelings 5+-Isabelle Filliozat
Noa, Kirpi and Yellow 5+-Sepin İnceer
Emotional Communication Skills for Children 3-12 years-Bonnie Thomas
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