Children need boundaries as they grow, and they also test these boundaries. Boundaries are necessary for children to develop healthy and safe. So what do we mean by setting boundaries? Boundaries are the rules set by the family to prevent the child's undesirable behavior from occurring. These rules may also be related to situations that endanger the child's safety or may be directed at the child's behavior that is harmful to others. Boundaries are an educational method that helps reduce unwanted behavior. Thanks to boundaries, children learn what is right and wrong, and thus it becomes easier for them to comply with social rules.
What should be taken into consideration when setting limits?
It is important that the rules are appropriate to the child's age and development and are understandable. When setting limits, it is also important not to inhibit the child's instinct to explore, research and learn.
The parent must be determined, consistent and clear. If you make a promise to your child, keep it. If you say no to something, let that thing remain no. If you say no first and then do it, do not say no from the beginning.
Speak together as parents, it is important that the boundaries are consistent as well as the parents are consistent. If you set a rule today, that rule should also be valid tomorrow. Application of the rule should not be arbitrary.
Make a list of problematic behaviors, do not expect them all to improve at the same time. First of all, set your rules regarding a few negative behaviors, the fewer your rules, the easier it will be for the child to comply with these rules.
In order for the child to learn the limits, he needs to see the result of his behavior. If, as a result of the desired behavior, the parent gives positive feedback that will motivate the child, such as "well done" or "I was happy to tidy up your room", the frequency of the desired behavior increases.
As a result of the negative behavior, it is necessary to deprive the child of the activity he enjoys. For this to be effective, it must occur immediately after the behavior. This should not be in the form of criticizing, threatening or using violence against the child.
Limits are necessary not only for children but also for adults. Expecting a child to obey the rules when he sees his parent not following the rules in traffic It is also powerful. As parents, let's obey the rules and make it easier for our children to follow the rules.
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