Motherhood and fatherhood are the most important and most difficult jobs in the world. Raising a child is an irreversible process. Therefore, it is a huge responsibility. Becoming a parent brings with it the most intense forms of emotions throughout your life. The greatest happiness, the greatest sadness, etc. Every parent wants to offer good opportunities and a beautiful future to their children, they make an effort, work for this, and want to raise successful and good children. Unfortunately, the importance of the child becoming a psychologically and personally healthy individual in the future is often not realized. In fact, the primary goal should be to raise people with healthy psychological and personality traits. Correct family communication and relationships are essential in this regard. Personality characteristics of mothers and fathers, their psychological states, events in their past, and experiences in their childhood are the determining factors in raising children.
Every child has individual characteristics from birth. They are different people from their parents. The child's thoughts, feelings, personality traits and abilities must be taken into consideration in communication and attitudes. So the first step is to get to know your child. You should be able to easily answer questions such as what are your child's character traits, what does he like, what makes him happy, what makes him sad or angry, what he can do well, what he cannot do, what his abilities are.
The child's behavior may vary depending on which type of parenting attitude you exhibit. Let's examine what parental attitudes are. Which of these attitudes do you have and what effect does this attitude have on your child?
Opressive, dominant and authoritarian parents: They are strict, oppressive, disciplined and rule-making. They want to dominate their children and keep them under control. They want children who do not obey their parents. They do not show their love to children, they constantly set rules. Children of such parents become rebellious, angry, aggressive, refuse to obey the rules, or are timid, timid, insecure, and susceptible to the influence of others. Very harsh attitudes towards the child affect the child negatively.
Indifferent, neglecting the child. Parents who: Do not show love and attention to their children, are impatient, do not set rules, are interested in their own business, say that they work too much and are tired. They want the child not to disturb them or cause problems, so they do not spare time for the child. Usually someone else takes care of the child or the child grows up on his own. It is usually seen when the number of children is high, the child is not ready for parenthood, or there are problems between the parents. Children raised by these parents grow up as unsuccessful, self-confident or angry and rebellious people, they may turn to crime, and they look for love in others. Being indifferent towards the child also affects the child negatively.
Soft and overprotective parents: They are parents who are calm but inadequate in terms of rules. They are extremely protective of the child. They constantly worry that they might get hurt. There is excessive attention, doing whatever you want, and taking everything. The child is always treated like a baby, he is not given any responsibility, the family does everything for him. It is usually seen in families with only one child or when having a child after a long time. All the ropes fall into the child's hands. Children growing up with these parents have difficulty complying with social rules, become overly dependent on the family, lack self-confidence, are emotionally weak, anxious, and have problems in their relationships. There is a high risk of nail biting, stuttering and bedwetting. Parents with this attitude harm their children instead of benefiting them.
Parents who teach the rules, are tolerant, democratic, trustworthy: Who show love and care to their children They are parents who take the time to explain what should be done and what should not be done. There are basic rules and restrictions. Children are free but also aware of their responsibilities. Children become self-confident, successful, happy people with strong social relations.This is the ideal attitude.
Perfectionist parents: They are self-centered parents who want perfection, are orderly, meticulous, strict, and expect from their children what they cannot do or experience themselves. These parents are hard to please. Nail biting, stuttering, bedwetting in children Chalking, intense anxiety, lying, feeling of inadequacy, and constantly trying to make others happy are seen.
Rejecting parents: The child was born as a result of an unwanted pregnancy, does not have the desired characteristics, has a disability, has disrupted the parents' education or career, or looks like an unloved person. As a result of such situations, the parents make the child feel that he/she is not wanted, disrupt his/her needs, behave in a hostile manner, constantly blame the child, criticize him/her, and look for the child's shortcomings due to reasons such as inadequate material and moral conditions, one of the spouses being so fond of the child that they neglect the other, divorce, the spouse in the second marriage not wanting the child. Rejected children tend to oppress those who are weaker than themselves, to hate those around them, to have hostile attitudes, to not trust anyone, and to make friends with the wrong people. Moving away from home, suicide, illegal activities may occur.
Parents may have the same attitude together. However, if they have different attitudes, it cannot be predicted how much the child will be affected by which attitude. What is certain is that no matter how many attitudes the child is exposed to, they will all have an impact. Parents may not have the same attitude towards every child. The following conclusion has been reached through research: Parents can be more normative and authoritarian with their first children, and they can impose more responsibilities. Parents are becoming more novice. Middle children can be treated a little more gently and be flexible, and they are more protective of their younger children and approach them more affectionately.
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