We focus on the difficulties of the life we live, and often think that we have to deal with difficult situations only ourselves. We believe that these things happen to us all the time, and when we overcome difficulties, we believe that we deserve to experience good things. When this is the case, we often miss the beautiful moments in our family life and social life. Expectations for the future go on and on, such as solving problems at work, getting the expected promotion, paying off debts. We give ourselves time for all of them, but we often forget that we are in an endless vicious circle. Just as we cannot live the moments, we try to make our children, who are better than us at living the moments, like us. However, they can be happy with a little game and get inspired by a color. They can feel the scent of spring in the air and get excited. When these emotions are activated, they do not attempt to postpone the work that needs to be done, like us. That's why they are enthusiastic and we are thoughtful. For this reason, they are ready to take action at any moment, while we tend to postpone. For this reason, while they passionately do the things they enjoy, we act with the expectation that it will be over as soon as possible. I have a few suggestions for those who think they are experiencing this situation that I am trying to explain and that many of us feel from time to time.
Try to Feel Family Life Deeply
This situation is just a matter of time, regardless of your job, income, age and all other situations. It involves focusing on your love for your family and the value you place on them. Think about your child/children whom you love unconditionally. Think about how valuable they are to you in this life... and the issues that are frequently on your agenda now (work to be done, lessons, homework, future plans... etc.). Have you noticed what your agenda is lately? Yes, you should definitely have basic principles in your family life (homework, duties, responsibilities, etc.), but your sharing should not be about things that need to be done frequently. Have posts about life, happiness, art, and observations about different lives. About a song, about places you want to see in the world, about people's behavior You can also talk about what happened. Healthy sharing lies at the heart of increasing emotional bonding and creating a sense of trust. Do not expect a problem-free life, completed work and fulfillment of goals for these posts. Don't put obstacles in your family life to laugh, talk, hug and share moments. At that moment, share, talk, think and deeply feel being a family. Enjoy the beautiful moments.
Incorporate a Sense of Humor
There are undefined but established roles in families. In other words, every family has a rule maker, a problem solver, a funny person, a resourceful person, and an authoritarian. In fact, several of these roles are combined in one person and that is how these people are known in the family. One of the most important of these roles is the comedians who can use humor in family interactions. Here, 'being funny' actually means something beyond making everyone laugh with what you do. Being able to place humor in your life; It includes being able to look at things from different perspectives, finding something to laugh at even in bad situations, and most importantly, being able to practice problem-solving skills. For these reasons, someone in the family must take on this role. Evaluate yourself as a mother or father. A person with a predisposition can be a practitioner of the method of using humor. Which child wouldn't feel good when he/she tells him/her about the problem he/she is experiencing in his/her daily life, by telling him/her a story based on a cartoon character, or when you make him/her smile by reminding him/her of a funny memory when he/she sees him/her very sad?
Create Family Routines from an Early Age, Bringing the family together Family routines are moments that are held together regularly, enjoyed by everyone, and remembered with a smile even after many years. Eating dinner with family elders every week, going to a concert or the theater once a month, walking on rainy days, having breakfast outside on Sunday mornings, singing a song together before going to bed in the evening... etc. Consider whether you have family routines such as: If you think you don't have much of an example in this regard, try to create new routines and make them permanent.
Believe in the Power of Tools in Bonding
Communicate with your child. The physical contact you have with him, the hugging, kissing him, the nice words you say to him, the words of love you use and the time you spare for him are very valuable. But kids need more, so don't ignore the power of tools. The tools in question may be toys, cartoons or videos that he enjoys watching. His toy preference and the cartoon character he admires may be an important clue for you. At older ages, there may be arts and sports that he is interested in, computer games that he likes to play, or popular people that he admires. Follow closely what your child's interest is in this direction. Try not to comment on what you don't like about it, just get involved. Seeing that his parent is also interested in what he loves, that is, knowing you as the person who is involved in his life in this way, rather than the person who intervenes in his life from afar, makes him feel close to him. It can create a starting point for your shares.
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