In our article last week, we talked about what TA is, which schools and effects it was developed from, briefly its content and in which situations it was applied. This week, I would like to open Transactional Analysis a little more and explain the basic concepts in it. I will briefly talk about how important communication is for a person, contact messages and what we need to do in order to receive correct and positive contact messages from the other party. Happy reading..
An experiment is being conducted on 40 newborn babies brought to the orphanage in America in 1944. Babies are divided into two groups, all basic needs of babies are provided for 4 months in a sterile environment. While giving care to the first group, nurses are asked to take care of the babies, hug, smile and talk to them, while only the vital needs of the babies in the second group are met. No contact with babies, including making eye contact and smiling. At the end of 4 months, the babies in the second group start to die even though they do not have any physical disease and the experiment is stopped. When we examine this painful experiment, we see that even newborn babies, whose perceptions are not yet fully developed, need love and attention as much as physical needs. Regardless of a newborn baby, child or adult, every person needs positive communication reactions from the other side, that is, positive contact messages. So what are these positive contact messages? This behavior can be a nodding, smiling, talking, shouting, or even shouting. Without exception, every human being needs to be acknowledged and noticed, so contact messages are very important to us. There are several types of contact messages; these are called positive, negative, conditional and unconditional contact messages.
Positive contact messages are any behavior that comes from the other party and makes us feel happy. Examples of positive contact messages are smiling, patting the head, being complimented, approved, or hugged. Negative contact messages, on the contrary, do we It is any behavior from the other side that will make you feel unhappy, angry, anxious or angry. Examples include shouting, insults, physical violence, and belittlement. Unconditional contact messages are contact messages given to us simply because we exist. To receive these messages, it is enough just to exist, to be ourselves. Conditional contact messages, on the other hand, are contact messages that we earn as a result of a behavior we do. When we greet someone, we gain a positive conditional contact message from them if they greet us with a smile in return. All of the contact messages are important in terms of acknowledging and recognizing our existence. However, the most valuable contact messages are those that are given unconditionally. These behaviors, which remind us that our mere existence is enough to be worthy of being loved, are the messages that make us feel that our existence is valuable. Of course, positive conditional contact messages are also beneficial for us. Being praised in return for achieving a success and gaining positive contact messages by giving a positive contact message helps the individual to develop a healthy self and communicate effectively. We need both conditional and unconditional positive contact messages for our health and happiness. So what happens when we don't get a positive contact message? It is any behavior given by the other party. Acknowledgment of its existence is very important to human beings, it keeps us alive mentally and even physically. When an individual does not receive positive contact messages, he or she tries to receive negative contact messages rather than receiving no contact messages. This unhealthy behavior at least connects the individual whose presence is noticed to life. For example, the need for a negative conditional contact message can be given as an example to the need for a negative conditional contact message for the older child, whose attention has decreased after his sibling is born, even if he knows that he will be punished in order to attract the attention of his parents. give messages truck. Considering this situation in human relations, loving the other party conditionally and unconditionally, giving contact messages, will enable you to establish healthy and happy relationships. The most important thing is to be aware that your own existence is worthy of being loved and accepted. I wish you healthy and happy days.
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