Traditional psychology focuses on protecting the individual and strengthening his weak areas after trying to understand him. This traditional approach also makes itself felt in child psychology. While positive psychology, which has been developing rapidly in recent years, continues its effort to understand people with complete unconditional acceptance, it aims to increase life satisfaction by prioritizing the skill in its agenda, not in a self-interested tendency (don't be careful!), and tries to keep the individual away from irrelevant and incompetent areas in his contact with life. .
Seligman, one of the founders of Positive Psychology, considers subjective well-being, that is, the components of our satisfaction, as the sum of good emotions, commitment to life, healthy relationships, the meaning of life and our achievements. More succinctly, positive psychology focuses on an individual's strengths and asks what is going well in their lives.
Life is an ongoing activity, and having children is the main source of this. This source sometimes says "hello" with pleasant surprises: Twin children! In one of your vulnerable moments, the few words that come out from between your doctor's lips turn into an unexpected memory. “You are going to have twins…” That moment leaves you with an indescribable feeling. You are discovering a new feeling, now tell yourself; What does being a parent of twins tell you?
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Approximately one in every 85 births is a twin. Of course, there are more things that are wondered and undiscovered about these births than what is known. Although the article may take you from place to place, we will have tried to inform you about the positive attitudes that parents of twins should adopt, after all, kindness is contagious.
Positive psychology creates goals not based on the helplessness we experience in difficult life events, but on the fact that the efforts we make will increase our motivation for success and increase our life satisfaction. Since being a parent of twins is a chaotic situation, perhaps that's what we've been taught, now we have the opportunity to look at the stronger side of the situation.
1) Your Organizational Skills Will Be Strengthened
One of the most difficult issues that parents of twins experience is meeting the basic needs of their children. Organization and trust your planning ability, it is your main resource in meeting all needs. While your "positive manager" attitude will increase your parenting value, the fact that the healthy plans you create are working will make you know what to do in the face of new challenges.
2) You Will Raise Two Values at the Same Time
Same parents, same genes, same social environment; By asking the question of how they develop differently from each other, your faith in the science of pedagogy will increase and you will rediscover the importance of the individual's richness and creativity in their development. You will see how you shape a personality in dough-like consistency, and you will see once again how important the parents' attitudes are in acquiring vital skills. Who can say that this situation will not contribute to your individual life?
3) More Comparison - MA!
One of the most frequently used methods in raising children is to question their development with their peers, what is yours? nor do your close circle of people need it anymore, because you have full faith that they are both different individuals without making comparisons. Neither now nor in the future, you will not compare them with another unique structure, and you will focus on the personality development of the twins instead of "what ifs".
4) Strong Play, Strong Child
Play is the child's breath and we can buy them two pairs of any toy we want. Result: Quiet games. Afterwards, when we, as parents, do not get down on our knees and participate in them, we will be away from the delightful feeling of their breath warming us. Of course we don't want this. Seeing what the same toy means in different minds and watching the development of their emotional world moment by moment will add sincerity, warmth and unity to them. Being a family is a phrase coined for you!
5) Originality Will Bring True Justice
In this challenging exam where your parenting skills are tested, “ You will be the parent of two “winners”. Open your window, the atmosphere of originality inside gives you the secret that each individual has a unique personality development. Because you are twins, you will not have to wear the same clothes, they will not have names with similar sounds, and you will not have the same hobbies. As long as your window remains open, the success of one of the twins will require discovering the talent of the other, rather than being the worthlessness of the other.
6) Sharing is Easier
Disinterested sharing is only supported by the development of the sense of compassion. The feeling of compassion depends on how often the attitude of unity is experienced. Feel, while the individual development of single children can be supported in one direction, twins, who have always been together since the womb, will of course have a more intense tendency to share. When your twins see each other being approached differently, your positive approach will appeal to their senses and increase their sense of subjectivity instead of jealousy. With this value rising, the twins' skills such as problem solving, critical thinking, and empathetic attitude will automatically be reflected in their lives as an attitude.
7) Two Children, Two Teachers
School starts at home. Once you have overcome the most critical period, 0-6 years of age, it is now easier to overcome other academically focused developmental problems. It is easier for our twins, whose individuality we respect and highlight their uniqueness in the process leading up to schooling, to separate from you. The homeschool process is more exciting with more than one teacher in different classes. Collaboration with teachers who will discover new learning styles, away from stereotyped learning skills, will shed light on the plural learning and mental development of our children.
Unexpected events, being caught unprepared, raise our defenses and reflect our uneasiness in our behavior. Being a parent means resolving conflicts, raising children without fear of conflicts and with a positive thought such as "Knowing gives strength to people" is the strongest hope we can leave for tomorrow. The fact that our hopes guide all our actions is the legacy we will leave for tomorrow. Protect your heritage!
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