Sexuality, which has an important place in human life from past to present and is a source of pleasure, excitement and happiness, also brings with it a number of adaptation problems. Effective solutions to these problems are offered with professional sexual therapy methods in the light of science. Sexual therapy aims to solve the emotional and behavioral problems of couples, to ensure their spiritual and physical harmony, and to improve and protect their sexual and mental health.
Sexuality is one of the basic human needs, as much as eating and drinking. It has been and will continue to be given great importance, both because of the effect of hormones due to innate instincts and because it is an indispensable action for human survival and reproduction. In short, it is one of the indispensable parts of human beings. Despite this, there is a paradox. It is a problem that is considered very important but not much effort is made to solve it, wrong methods are used, or the problem is suppressed by seeing it as a deficiency or inadequacy, and the problem is treated as if it is problem-free despite the problem. Despite many problems such as couples not being able to have intercourse for years (vaginismus, impotence), insufficient and insatiable intercourse (premature ejaculation), sexual compatibility problems, accepting this situation instead of receiving counseling or treatment causes irreparable wounds in relationships, creates irreparable consequences and makes couples unhappy.
In recent years, it has been determined that 20% of divorce rates are caused by sexual adjustment problems, and the rate of sexual dysfunction in men over the age of 40 is up to 70 percent. It is said that female sexual dysfunction appears to be much more common than male. For example, research has shown that the rate of sexual dysfunction in men is 31 percent, while it is 43 percent in women. In other words, on average, 7 out of every 10 men and women experience sexual problems. When we look at the treatment rate, it seems to be a very low rate. Couples continue to live an unhappy and joyless sexual life almost helplessly. A problematic sexual life brings with it many troubles such as divorce, cheating, unrest at home, inefficiency at work, making little things big and problematic.
However, the relationship is exciting and exciting. Everyone has the right to keep it dynamic, make it enjoyable and entertaining, and live life to the fullest. Just as one would go to a doctor without hesitation in case of a physiological disorder, one should consult a sexual therapist without delay in case of sexual adaptation problems. Sexual therapies that provide definitive results in a short time can make married life enjoyable. Sexual life, which is ashamed and talked about in our culture, is tried to be shown as unimportant. However, when people express their feelings and thoughts in couples therapy, we understand that this is not the case at all.
We see that many people with sexual problems seek help via e-mail and message. For example: “Do you think it is necessary to have sexual intercourse? Is it harmful to make love frequently? What can I do to reduce my partner's sexual power? Should I force myself so that our marriage doesn't suffer? I am having erection problems, how can I get rid of this problem? We have been married for 3 years and we still haven't had sexual intercourse, what should we do? The relationship seems like a disgusting event to him. My wife blamed me for years. I have fear and distress during sexual intercourse. I want to have children. My wife and I have not been able to have sexual intercourse so far. Can masturbation cause premature ejaculation? As soon as I have intercourse, I ejaculate immediately, I can't hold myself back. I have premature ejaculation. Will it prevent me from having children in the future? At first, my sexual interest in my wife began to decrease over time. "I love my wife, but I think she doesn't love me anymore. I can't do anything because of fear." like…
Main Sexual Problems:
Vaginismus, Premature Ejaculation, Sexual Reluctance, (Frigidity) Disgust from Sexual Intercourse, Sexual Arousal Disorder in Women, Sexual Satiriasis in Men, Sexual Dissatisfaction (Nymphomania) in Women, Sexual Intercourse Addiction, Post-Intercourse Distress, Impotence, Sexual Pain Disorder (Painful Sexual Intercourse – Dyspareunia), Orgasm Disorder in Men, Orgasm Disorder in Women.
How does the sexual therapy process work?
It is important for couples to participate together. In the first sessions of sexual therapy, evaluation interviews are held; Answers are sought to many questions such as the causes of sexual problems, how long they have existed, how they affect the couple's life, and how they arise. Sexual problems may have many causes: secret and shameful masturbation in childhood, unconscious impulse conflicts, misinformation, distortions, anxieties, traumas, shame, fears, feelings of inadequacy regarding body image, negative perceptions, depression, etc. etc.
In the second stage of therapy; Conflicts in the relationship are resolved and restructured. The spouses' perspectives on sexuality are evaluated and wrong thoughts and behavior patterns are corrected. Awareness is gained that sexuality is not a duty or obligation, but a necessity of marriage and life that is done willingly. What makes marriage exciting and lively is what couples need to do together; Topics such as communicating, touching, hugging, going to bed together and loyalty are covered. It is tried to ensure that the couples start dating again.
In the third stage; By providing sexual education, couples are provided with accurate and necessary information about sexuality, sexual organs and sexual superstitions. Sexual myths are addressed and the truth is clarified. It is emphasized that the sexual problem does not originate from only one of the couples, but that it is a problem for both couples and that they must solve it together. The importance of couples not blaming each other and supporting each other is emphasized. All known false beliefs about sexuality are addressed and it is taught that sexual needs of both parties are normal, natural needs and harmony can be learned in order to cope with feelings of guilt and sinfulness. In addition, some homework assignments are given that can be easily done. By emphasizing the mutual behaviors in the relationship, it is emphasized that sexuality is a quality and enjoyable act for an adult.
In the fourth stage; It focuses on deeply felt emotions. Couples' fantasies, perceptions of pleasure, self-discovery, and reflections of childhood are discussed. Tensions created by socio-cultural pressures are eliminated. The meaning socially attributed to women and men It is ensured that they get rid of the negative effects of responsibilities and roles on their sexual life.
In the final stage, various love games that the couple can do together in private are suggested. With these games, they learn about exploring their own bodies and their partners' bodies, what they enjoy, what they like, and the subtleties of the art of lovemaking without feeling any anxiety. They learn new and interesting emotional and sexual techniques. Most importantly, couples feel pleasure and happiness as they do all these with a great sense of joy to discover themselves and their partners in the most special way. After all, it is sexuality that makes their lives meaningful; They learn to live to the fullest and be happy without any problems or worries.
Remaining insensitive to sexual problems and avoiding the search for solutions to solve the problems brings with it different problems in married life. For example, the other spouse thinks that he or she is not loved, cared for, or valued. There may even be suspicions that he is cheating or that his wife is gay. It is very easy to solve sexual problems seen in all cultural, educational levels and social environments. In order to be happy and feel the joy of life in a very short life, those who have sexual problems should take steps towards a solution as soon as possible.
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