“Wait a moment, turn back and remember what you forgot. If you have lost, call, if you have offended, ask for forgiveness, if you have been offended, forgive: because life is too short. “Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi. Being forgiving is a trait only strong people have. Forgiveness is defined by psychologists as follows: it is a person's conscious and intentional decision to get rid of feelings of grudge and revenge against someone who upset and harmed him/her. Even though it is very difficult to implement, it is necessary to be forgiving in order to achieve long-term peace and happiness. Everyone is disappointed or treated unfairly by someone in life. Unless we let go of feelings of resentment and anger, both our mental and physical health will be negatively affected. If we do not get rid of the negative emotions and thoughts that the negative event makes us feel, the suppressed anger will eat us from the inside over time. Forgiveness is not an easy thing. But when we forgive, we do ourselves a huge favor. When we forgive, we get out of the cage of grudge and anger and become free.
LEARNING TO FORGIVE
There are two types of forgiveness. One is committed forgiveness and the other is emotional forgiveness. Determined forgiveness occurs when a person consciously and voluntarily decides to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. We no longer make negative wishes for the person we are angry with, and we no longer get angry at that person as much as before. Since it is a decision taken consciously and with one's own will, this form of forgiveness is generally easier and more permanent. In emotional forgiveness, the person gets rid of negative emotions and thoughts over time and stops focusing on the injustice done. Since emotional forgiveness does not occur as a result of a decision made by the person himself, there may be returns to old negative thoughts from time to time. Therefore, emotional forgiveness may be more challenging and troublesome than determined forgiveness. Forgiveness has incredible benefits to our health. Research has shown that forgiveness causes a decrease in negative moods such as depression, anxiety and aggression, a decrease in substance addictions, an increase in self-confidence and an increase in the quality of life in general.
WHAT TO DO TO FORGIVE?
The first step to be taken is to re-evaluate the injustice with an impartial perspective. do it here What needs to be done is to stop feeling sorry for ourselves, get out of the victim mentality and try to see the other person from a non-negative perspective. Then we should try to empathize with the other person. We must put ourselves in his shoes and reconsider why he did the injustice or evil done to us, without minimizing the person's guilt. Sometimes the negative behavior of the other person towards us is not directed towards us, but may be a reflection of the negativity he experiences in his own inner world. Someone who acts aggressively and angry is often resentful or anxious, and his negative behavior is the result of this emotional state.
We have all hurt others, willingly or unintentionally, from time to time. Think back to a time when you were forgiven for something you wronged someone. Try to remember the feelings of relief, gratitude and happiness it made you feel. When you forgive someone, you give them this priceless gift of kindness. Even this thought makes most people want to forgive.
Be determined to forgive. Think about the feelings of peace and happiness you will create in both your own life and the lives of those around you when you forgive the other person. Forgiveness does not mean erasing the mistakes and injustices done to you. It's just a matter of changing your perspective and reactions to these events. If you find yourself having negative thoughts and emotions again, remind yourself that you are determined to forgive and that you no longer have bad wishes for the person who wronged you.
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