Child Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım said that in reality, there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child. Specialist Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım gave information about “perfect parenting”. Dr. Yıldırım said, “Many people believe in the myth of perfect parenting – the ideal mother and father raise happy, good, problem-free children. In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect parent or perfect child. Behaviors that parents see as problematic are very common, especially among school-age children. "Every parent has at least 5-6 characteristics or behavioral problems with their children, such as avoiding doing household chores that they have difficulty managing, sibling jealousy, spending too much time in front of the TV, tablet or phone, having difficulty completing homework, not obeying simple rules," he said. p>
First of all, remember that it is okay to make mistakes
Expert. Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım said, “As a parent, you need to realize that it is normal to feel anxious, confused, angry, guilty, overwhelmed and inadequate because of your child's behavior. This is part of being a parent. Try to look back and remember how your parents managed this process and how they treated you when you behaved wrong as a child. They weren't perfect, but neither were anyone's parents. Don't wear yourself out by thinking "I won't make the mistakes my family made" and trying to be perfect for this cause. All parents and all children make mistakes in communicating with each other and dealing with problems. Parents need to trust themselves and their instincts. Mothers and fathers tend to have good intuition and knowledge about their own children. They often know more than they think and should not be afraid of making mistakes. Children are resilient and forgiving, and they often learn and grow from mistakes. "Parents just need to be flexible and forgiving," he said.
Parents who live only for their children will be disappointed
Talking about parents who live only for their children, Yıldırım said: “Parents who live only for their children unknowingly set their own expectations They increase and become disappointed. Moreover, this is the greatest injustice they can do to both their families, their spouses, and most importantly, themselves. Parents should not expect to get all their personal satisfaction from their children or the parenting role. Parents need other resources and activities outside of the parenting role in order to feed their own souls. Remember that you can get professional help if the problems become very intense, you have difficulty coping with the problems, there is intense stress within the family, or the child's school performance decreases. Trust your instincts on this matter and get help early rather than being late. "Parenthood is your most challenging task in your life, but it can also be one of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences of your life," he said.
Important points
Drawing attention to the important points, Dr. Yıldırım continued: “Even among children of the same age, there are differences that are considered normal in their social, emotional, intellectual and physical development. Various qualities that a child has, such as social skills, athletic abilities, learning abilities, and emotional maturity level, may differ from another child or even his or her sibling. He might be strong at math but weak at reading (or vice versa), or good at basketball but bad at football. We need to adjust our expectations according to our child's abilities. Just as a child's development can affect their behavior, their behavior can also affect their development. In addition, your parenting style will affect the child's behavior and development and the environment you offer him/her. Your parent-child relationship begins when your child is in the womb. To help you better understand this gift of life, try to understand where you are as a family. Think back to your experiences with your child when he was a baby, a toddler, and a preschooler. Your parenting style may have changed since the early years of your child's life. Perhaps you were quite anxious as a new parent but gained confidence over the months and years. Remember that as your child grows, you and your family must change too.”
Never Don't say it's too late
Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım concluded her statement as follows: “About what needs to be done, 'even if you made mistakes in the first years, you can change them now. If you have missed some of your child's family experiences, even if you have had very busy and long working hours, remember that you still have many years to spend enjoyable times with your spouse and children. In general, children are able to understand their parents and forgive their mistakes. Even if you can't be there when your child takes his first steps or rides his tricycle for the first time, you can still attend your child's other special events, such as school plays and football games. Never say it's too late. For many men and women, the stress in their lives impairs their parenting skills. For example, if they are dissatisfied with work, they may be tense and unable to return home at the end of the day and give their full mind and energy to their families. Consider the level of stress in your life. Try to find out where the problems arise. Consider how problems in these areas affect your family life. Find effective ways to deal with these challenges in your life, do not hesitate to get support if necessary. Keep in mind that most parents are happier people (and thus better parents) when they make time for activities they enjoy. Therefore, do not forget to make time for yourself.”
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