Today, many people find it extremely difficult to start a romantic relationship due to separation anxiety. Although our past experiences undoubtedly shape our attitudes in our new relationship, the thought that it will end one day before we even start the relationship prevents us from making the necessary investment in the existing relationship. The dating anxiety of the modern age captures us much more than we think. Especially these days, when people have the opportunity to become individualized, it seems that this individualization brings more and more loneliness. Smaller houses, smaller cars, and increased individual social activities reinforce this loneliness, right? So how does this process work?
Our instinctive perception of ownership also manifests itself in our relationships. When we start a relationship with someone, we create a bond with that person that is different from everyone else, and we take this relationship to a different dimension within ourselves. This bond we establish creates the habit of having that person and the time spent with that person. This habit, which increases over time, causes the fear of loss to emerge. In the relationship, statements like "I can't live without him, I can't breathe without him, I'm nothing without him" begin to be uttered. The ability of people under the influence of the modern age to create their own budgets, the existence of their own circle of friends, their freedom to make individual decisions, and the existence of alternative partner candidates around them can be perceived as a threat to the continuity of the relationship and reinforce the fear of loss that already exists in the relationship. When our experiences of abandonment and deception in the past are added to this, our investments in the relationship and our belief in the continuity of the relationship gradually decrease, our questioning of the relationship and the partner with our distorted perception begins to increase, and as a result, the expected prophecy comes true. The person faces abandonment. Nowadays, many people, in order to avoid this situation, either choose not to start any relationship from the beginning or take precautions by giving up on the relationship at the first problem at the beginning of the relationship. At the end of the day, it seems that relationships that start with the thought that it will end in the future anyway, everything has an end, there is no eternal love, we will break up one day anyway, end. r. Because of these concerns, people either find themselves taking the necessary precautions to prevent themselves from reaching the point where they cannot live without you, or find themselves looking for ways to enjoy their loneliness, or they are thrown into casual relationships. As a result, the negative thinking styles created by these concerns and our distorted perception of bilateral relations close the doors to establishing a healthy romantic relationship, leading us to failure in relationships. The desire to love, to be loved, to establish a common life and to be a family, which exists in our nature, continues to be suppressed. As long as we can overcome these problems by resolving the underlying causes of these concerns, increasing awareness levels in relationships, studying past traumatic experiences, in short, by initiating change in ourselves first, we will continue to have the potential to establish a healthy romantic relationship, make the necessary investment in this relationship, and maintain this relationship. Isn't it time to embark on a journey within yourself to discover this potential?
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