We have many identities in our daily lives, and we create these identities over time in order to survive and adapt to social life. The child identity, which is one of the identities we form at an early age, is formed when we are still young. We are born and learn to survive as children. When a baby is born, it is in need of care and helpless, and its physical needs must be met. Ensuring their safety and feeling valued is a must. All these needs are met by the caregiver from outside. Babies cry to express a need. In our culture, children are not allowed to cry. We do our best to keep him from crying. Although the children of a British mother and a Turkish mother have the same needs, they develop learning due to the different behavior of the one giving the needs.
Years ago, I had a South African neighbor, her child-raising style and my child-raising style were very different. When it was time for the child to sleep, I would sing Sonya's ninja and put the child to bed while I rocked him to sleep. What my baby learned when he cried and what Sonya's baby learned when he cried were very different. The child actually learns to want and receive. Sonya used to go to the market with her children and come back without any problems, but for me, going there was one problem and walking around there was another problem. And I would find myself saying, "You just wanted chocolate, you bought it for him, now why do you want this?" It didn't take long for me to understand the difference and I immediately pulled myself together and made him do his homework at school. He needs other things to help him sleep and feel valuable...
Our identity as a child is formed in these periods and remains at the age at which it was formed. Even if you are fifty years old, this identity continues as long as you have parents. I had a friend of mine who used to complain about the fact that while she was going to university, she was not housed and had to stay in the dormitory, but all her other siblings were housed and they had a more comfortable student life. Here I see now that if a baby is bought for an eight-year-old child and a bigger and more beautiful baby is bought for his other five-year-old sibling, that is, if he is not given a baby, he will react by getting angry and blaming. Or it can be learned by becoming angry and withdrawn. This friend of mine was blaming his parents. I mean, it may be ridiculous, but the reactions to child identity problems are essentially childish, no matter how old the person is. This is why we remain children in the eyes of our parents and we always remain children. In summary, the identity of a child is strong and is the identity that should be. It reminds us that someone loves us. But only this much is enjoyable. If you go before, it will ring alarm bells in both our child identity and self activation. Moreover, your children will continue to use you until your resources are exhausted, or you will raise dependent personalities. It is not healthy, what is healthy is transformation. When the children are young, parents should be a little friendly starting from the age of fifteen and friendships should be completed by the age of twenty-five. When you get old, they are already adults.
When every identity disappears, it creates a void, something that makes you who you are is broken. The size of the gap depends on the place it occupies in your personality and how early your identity was formed. When both parents die suddenly or at separate times, the second loss is always more severe. Because our identity as a child has disappeared and it is as if there is no one left who loves us unconditionally. Of course, we have many identities. One of these is our sibling identity, friend identity, sexual identity, manager or worker identity. Our personality is the sum of our identities. Identities must develop the necessary skills to keep up with the natural system they are in.
Read: 0
